Posts categorized "Relationships"

The loneliest people...

“How come no one told me
All throughout history
The loneliest people
Were the ones who always spoke the truth”
-Kings of Convenience (song: Misread)

The more I speak the truth, the fewer people who want anything to do with me. I am grateful for a those few deep, perfect, loving relationships. However, it saddens me to think about the countless people I have known who have rejected the type of honest, open, loving, close friendship I offer freely. Why?

How is it that people hide away in depression, are overwhelmed with stress, and are burdened with seemingly insurmountable problems when the truth is that perfect joy is so easily attainable with one specific decision?

Those of us who have found the truth about love / truth / reality / ego—who have genuinely awakened spiritually—know that nobody wants to end their suffering. They so desperately cling to it that our message of love, joy, perfect health and peace is unwelcomed. All communication is then broken. They think that we don’t understand them and their “reality”. So, we no longer matter.

I find it so very sad. I offer only unconditional love, patience, and understanding. I want to celebrate and discuss everything beautiful, everything that matters. I want to smile and laugh together. To overcome the world’s darkness with our inner light. So very few are willing to accept any of this.

And yet, regardless of our individual decisions, the truth remains. You will never find lasting happiness unless you are willing to destroy / escape the ego. You will never find peace and experience true beauty unless you are willing to fully embrace and align with unconditional love. You will always suffer if lost in past and future or are clinging to an identity in this world. To experience the present moment—the only reality that ever was and ever will be—you will need to meditate and maintain a daily spiritual practice. Anything that is not loving is not real—and to experience love fear must be rejected totally.

There are specific teachings that will take you all the way to salvation—perfect, ongoing joy, eternal life, the end of your problems—and to achieve this is only to humbly surrender to the higher truth. Not my truth, just the one I was humble enough to find. It is reality and is yours now and always, in love.

How come no one told me All throughout history The loneliest people Were the ones who always spoke the truth

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Why do people find it so difficult to forgive?

People who have not yet transcended ego find it impossible to forgive. Even after a heartfelt apology, the response is often, “I’m working on forgiving you” or “you still haven’t apologized properly for what you’ve done.” Other times, they simply consider a person unforgivable. What exactly does this person mean by forgiveness?

The unobserved, egoic mind uses forgiveness as a means for domination and control. What this person wants in an apology is that the “guilty party” give up all personal freedom and concede everything. Anything short of this is considered an unacceptable and inappropriate apology.

To the ego, everything is reduced to a question of “what about me?” or “what do I get?”. The ego has no ability to empathize with, respect, or accept a person’s life journey. Instead, everything must be controlled and manipulated.

Of course, it is impossible for anyone to completely concede control over their life to such a confused person. What ends up happening instead is a fearful concession, then deception.

But a person who has awakened to the dimension beyond the ego forgives instantly. We see no sin; rather, only error to be corrected in love. We offer unconditional acceptance and respond in love. We are also free to love and will not concede to being controlled or dominated by other people’s egos.

This is one of the reasons why it is so impossible for a spiritually awakened person to coexist alongside a person who has not yet awakened. If you refuse to be completely controlled by an ego, you will be considered unforgivable and immediately discarded. Sadly, you never meant any harm. You only wanted your freedom to be love and to give love on your terms.

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Only by becoming vulnerable can you discover your true invulnerability. (Eckhart Tolle)

The ego believes that becoming vulnerable makes you weak. There is this fear that other people will take advantage of you or will fail to take you seriously. To become somebody special or important, the ego would have you believe, you need to be assertive. You must never let your guard down. Trust no one. Attack before you are attacked. But here there is no strength, only a slippery slope of weakness, depression and hopeless isolation.


We avoid becoming vulnerable because we feel that, if people saw us for who we truly are, they wouldn’t see much to like. Our attitudes toward intimacy or vulnerability is, therefore, only a reflection of whether we love ourselves. When we lack self-love, we avoid vulnerability and authenticity because we feel unworthy. While we may believe we are seeking approval to foster better relationships, it is impossible for any human connection to become a relationship at all if we are unwilling to become vulnerable and open.


Strength starts with vulnerability. When we are deeply honest, true communication begins. This is how strong, trusting unions are made and harmonious relationships are built. Through vulnerability, love is felt and we are lifted to that joyful, blissful place we seek.


If anyone in your life abandons you because you show who you are, then you can be grateful because the people who stay will fit perfectly. Now your relationships are grounded in truth, and truth is strength.


Becoming vulnerable is non-resistance to what is. We are all vulnerable in this life. We face the same challenges, the same fragile balance of things, and the same impending death of the physical body. But, when we practice non-resistance to all that is, when we let ourselves be as we are, we find that everything falls into place effortlessly and there was never a reason to fear. This is true invulnerability, which requires faith that is beyond the ego.

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Slovakia’s cultural death

I spent the last few days camping and biking in the hills of rural Slovakia. For whatever reason, I got to thinking about the past and all the things I have enjoyed in the country that I now call home.

Following many dark decades of oppressive Communism, theirs was still a vibrant culture. Much of the Slovak culture is rooted in the ancient past, but also I suppose that, through a strong sense of culture and togetherness, they survived the evils of Communism and made life worth living. Families and friends knew how to come together, work together, celebrate together, drink together, and even sing and dance together. The discos were filled with so much enthusiasm for life. People lived fully and did things together.

As the 1990’s and 2000’s wore on—and the country became subjected to commercialism and tasteless, trash entertainment—everything gradually changed. Increasingly, people would avoid meeting or doing anything together. Far easier to stay home, take care of the house, go to the mall, and post dishonest projections of your life on social media. No more weekends at the cottage with family. No more unannounced visits. Nobody cared much about music or cultural events.

The quest for material comfort and success has led directly to more financial stress, loneliness, and isolation. During these past many years, life here became a competition to appear cooler, better, or more successful than others. A so-called “hipster” culture even emerged—which has nothing to do with the real, open-minded, fun hipster culture that I experienced in Seattle in the early 2000’s. No, this hipster culture is built upon the terrible music and art thrust upon us by mainstream culture, involves no free-thinking, no expression of emotion, and thoughtlessly rejects all of history and culture as cliché. Boring.

At the same time, the population has become so overwhelmingly elderly and dying. Right now, it all feels like a massive letting go of the past. Coronavirus was the death blow to anything cultural that remained. Sure, a few of the newer restaurants are thriving, but all the old establishments are essentially dead. Villages are now only private homes and there is nothing to do publicly other than go to church (with masks of course…so never mind).

I could be wrong, but I believe Slovakia is a microcosm, and that what I have observed here is happening around the world. I wonder what will come next. If we are to thrive again as individuals, families, and as a culture, I know that we will have to start by becoming rooted in what is real. This will require a letting go of ego—so that we value connectedness, having fun with people, appreciating beauty from our own perspectives, becoming vulnerable enough to lead others toward having a good time. We will need to stop competing, stop arguing, and stop judging.

We must rise beyond the limitations of our media / government / school conditioning and brainwashing. The way forward toward a life worth living is with an open mind and open heart. May we remember, celebrate, and keep alive everything vibrant and beautiful from our past as we create a future where everything real and beautiful is valued.

I am grateful for the love and closeness I have with my family, but we are craving much broader and deeper relationships and cultural connectedness. Change must always start with ourselves, and we are committed to doing something about this dreadful situation.

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Posted by Abscondo

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Sexual healing and gratification is yours through perfect love

The urge to have sex is the divine call for life to push forward, to continue to create. In its purest form, sex is perfect union enjoyed with someone who you want to share the most fun, beauty, and pleasure. Two become one in blissful surrender, if only for a time. Even beyond the fleeting moments, great sex can be a seed from which the most beautiful relationships and eternal friendships blossom.

Obviously, sex need not be only for the purpose of procreation, but at least the theoretical possibility of a sexual act leading to new life must be accepted on some level. In this way, it is a surrendering to fate, to God’s will—a decision to open yourself to a person and accept whatever may come.

Each of us must confront our sexuality and the sexuality of others in our lives, there is no other way. The question is, what makes sex right or wrong, a sin or a virtue, beneficial or harmful? A Course in Miracles provides a clear answer in the statement “Sin is where love is not.” In other words, if a sexual relationship is purely loving, there is nothing inherently wrong with sex.

What is meant by “loving sex”? Being loving means being open, honest, accepting, giving, forgiving, kind, and caring. Treat people well. Be honest and want only the truth. Do not use sex to manipulate, to test, to shame or to hold guilty.

The ego, on the other hand, attempts to distort the truth about sex and uses it as its tool, a weapon of manipulation. A person in the grip of ego collects lovers to boost pride and threatens lovers who have needs outside of the relationship (which would hurt the ego’s pride). Such a person seduces with lies and false promises, and cheats and lies about sex all the time.

The ego’s idea of sex—complete with its restrictive rules, judgments, and punishments—is perverted and destructive. The ego values sex above love. It uses people, breaks hearts, ends relationships, and destroys families—only in an absurd attempt to protect its pride, to control, to get, to possess. Egoic sex is thrilling while it lasts, and then becomes very ugly and disgusting.  

Egoless sex is completely different. You can have all kinds of fun, live your wildest fantasies, and you can allow others to have fun and do the same—only without the drama, pain, and destruction. Only through unconditional love can we experience sexual healing and fulfillment, but none of this is understandable as long as you decide for ego over love.

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Parenting is a role, not an identity

Moms and dads can sometimes become so involved in our parental roles that it becomes an identity.  Parenting demands so much of our attention that it can sometimes feel like it is who we are.

Yet our children grow and change so quickly. Then one day, the role is no longer required at all. If someone’s identity has become that of mom or dad—or as a family as a unit that is always together—this identity eventually, painfully vanishes.

The truth is, parenting is a temporary role, not an identity. There are so many things that our kids need from us and our role constantly changes as they grow. But there is one thing that never changes: the love we share.   

By choosing to value the eternal love relationship with our children above all else, we can disidentify from the temporary parental role identity. We can enjoy each season of our children’s lives as a scene from our unique movie. We can let go, knowing our children are not really ours; rather, ours only to help and to love.

The only true and lasting identity is love. Align with this identity by learning what unconditional love is and does—and then by putting it into practice faithfully. We can love ourselves and everyone in our lives perfectly and completely.

Roles are necessary and interesting but belong in the background. Stand firm on that which is real, true, and eternal—perfect love.

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Posted by Abscondo

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You cannot not teach

Everything you do and say, each moment of each day, is a lesson you are teaching to others. You cannot hide from teaching others because even the act of hiding is a lesson. Realizing that you cannot not teach, the question what lesson do you believe in enough to teach? Is it the same one that you are teaching?

When you conform—saying and doing what you do not really believe in for some supposed good reason—you are bearing false witness and teaching a lie. To represent anything which makes you depressed or robs you of joy is to harm others by setting a misleading example which leads them down the same miserable path.

But when you stand up for, speak about, and openly live what you know to be good, right, and true, then you are the light of the world. You know what to do by recognizing how you feel. Fear makes you feel ill. Do not believe the false lessons of fear and do not harm others by making it real. Attack robs everyone of joy. Do not use it. Do not cut yourself off. Never hide your truth. Never judge and always forgive. Teach the path of lasting joy—not of low energy and depression.

To make guilty is to teach shame. To attack in any form is to teach violence. To hide away is to teach loneliness. To lie is to teach that fiction can be made real. To manipulate is to teach that something real can be gained by taking from or harming others. To swear is to teach that crudeness and violence are superior to kindness and gentleness. When you drink or drug yourself to sickness, neglect your body, or indulge in so much sugar that you become sick and obese, what are you teaching? With all your power, is this what you want your life to represent and teach?

You have such great power because you are always teaching. Consider what would happen if you used this power to teach unconditional love, perfect honesty, perfect health, and perfect joy. The choice is yours. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.  

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When identification with mental positions is out of the way, true communication begins. (Eckhart Tolle)

There is nothing wrong with mental positions. We spend our lives observing the world. Naturally, the mind draws conclusions and has preferences. The problems arise when we try to form an identity for ourselves based upon those mental positions.

When the mind forms a position, it tries to convince you that you are that position, and you are right. You may even begin to feel superior to others who do not agree. Now there can be no true communication. Rather than listening and connecting, you focus on differences and on defending your position. If anyone challenges your position, you feel personally attacked. This is the ego.

Normal conversations in this world are a messy attempt to project mental positions; attempting to persuade others to agree with or understand you. This almost never happens. Instead, there is only ongoing debate that ends in frustration, rudeness, or anger.

To be free from ego is to avoid defending mental positions. It is enough to state your position when asked and to listen to those of others without judgment. This is how you turn relationships into a spiritual practice. Aligned with unconditional love, you can calmly and unemotionally observe your thoughts. When the mental positions of others no longer feed negative emotions, you know you are free from ego. 

True communication is beyond questions of identity. You are love and love is not a mental position. You are connected to others on the level of the soul, spirit, consciousness—where we are all the same and where we are one. True communication flows only from this dimension. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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#eckharttolle #powerofnow #anewearch #consciousness #ego #awakening #spiritual #unconditionallove #love #joy #happiness #inspirational #healing #happy #inspire

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Let each other be

In any situation, there is a true path. What prevents people from honoring it is the urge to control.

When we push things in the direction of where we think it should go, we are distorting the situation by not allowing it to be as it is.

When we try to control perceptions, or to change a person, or force what we want without regard to the other person, we create discomfort, distress, and unease.

When respect for the equilibrium is lost, the relationship becomes inflexible and brittle. It becomes work. It loses its purpose, which is love.

How easily we forget that there is a true path that requires no effort, no sacrifice, no figuring anything out. It is the path of mutual and unconditional acceptance. Let each other be, and equilibrium is never lost. Neither is the love. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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#relationships #honesty #acceptance #forgiveness #openness #bliss #beauty #love #romance #relationshipskills #goodvibes #success

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The best things in life are natural and free

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Those moments of happiness, fun, and beauty are always available and in limitless supply. What we value and appreciate most in life has nothing to do with the commercial, fictitious world. We depend upon man-made systems to function, and it also provides some shallow thrills and distractions, but we look to nature to truly live.

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In the fictitious world, there is always something that needs doing. Just one more step, one more thing, one more day until I can finally enjoy myself. But enjoyment is not something that automatically happens after everything is done. It is not a break from life. It is life.

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We can prioritize our time according to what matters—beauty, rest, feeling good, bonding with a loved one, experiencing nature or parks, sitting still to simply observe the world, exercise, sex, music, reading, practicing an art or craft, creating something, helping someone from a place of inspiration. We can choose to do these things first.

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Make sure your enjoyment level is enough so that you experience life as an ongoing state of joy. This sounds impossible to a busy mind. Why? All these things are basically free, natural, and available each moment no matter where we live. Just stop. Allow yourself some time to do what feels good. Now you can get some work done, do the dishes, clean up the mess, buy the groceries, and pay the bills—but the doing flows from a continued state of enjoyment.

Those who claim to have no time for enjoyment are simply prioritizing everything that does not matter and sacrificing everything that does. It is a trap to deplete yourself now and expect joy to come later. There is time for everything because life is only an ongoing present moment. We live in eternity; not past, present, and future. Time is not the problem.

Some people in your life may not agree, but you are free. Those who argue otherwise are using you. But you were born with free will into a world where everything wonderful is natural and free. Unblock yourself. Free your mind. Free your life. Open your heart to beauty. Align with the real world—the free and natural one. Choose love. Joy is your natural state. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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