Posts categorized "Personal Development"

Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. (Eckhart Tolle)

Addiction is an attempt to escape pain and suffering through something or someone. Rather than dealing with the pain, addiction is an attempt to cover it up. For a while, it seems to work. Eventually, the euphoria wears off and what emerges is an even greater pain. This point is obvious enough when we look at substance abuse, but can also apply to romantic relationships.

A new relationship may seem like the answer to your problems or the end of your suffering. The euphoria of any new relationship will wear off. If the underlying pain or suffering is not dealt with directly, it eventually reemerges. You then direct it toward your partner for supposedly failing to make you happy. In truth, nothing and no one external can make you happy or can end your suffering—at least not for long.

If there is a problem in your life causing pain or suffering, then it must be accepted and looked at directly. Go within. Meditate. Talk about it. See the reality of the circumstance. This cannot be done within the ego’s thought system. All solutions flow from the deep humility of love. All knowledge flows from consciousness.

Only after healing can you enjoy relationships. If you choose to do so, you may also enjoy some of the things that other people get addicted to. Now that peace is your normal state, there is nothing you need to escape from and nothing you do becomes an addiction.

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Choose lasting happiness through the power of perfect honesty. Read The Switch.

The ego does not know what a real question is. (A Course in Miracles)

Most questions are not real questions. They are framed so that only one right answer is possible. Answer differently and you will be ignored or attacked.

The answers to the following questions are clear and obvious: What is the point of it all? Why do bad things happen to good people? How can I learn to love myself? How can I learn to forgive? Will I ever be able to trust? Why am I overthinking everything? Why am I constantly ill? Why do I keep making the same mistakes?

The ego wants the answer to be “who knows” or “poor you” or “it isn’t fair” or “someday”. Respond to any of these questions with an honest, truthful, simple answer and the ego will either ignore you, attack you, or back away by calling the question “hypothetical”.

These questions are clear and the answers are obvious. But to accept the answer is to live from beyond the ego. This, the ego cannot accept, so the voice in your head tells you to back away. If you still think that voice is you, then you comply. You suffer for a bit longer (maybe for the rest of your life).

If you really do want to love yourself, to forgive, to trust, to let the past go, to move on, then ask real questions and accept the clear and obvious answers. Everything you most deeply want is yours, but not from within the tragic limitations of ego.

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Choose lasting happiness through the power of perfect honesty. Read The Switch.

The ego is capable of suspiciousness at best, and viciousness at worst. That is its range. (A Course in Miracles)

Taking the ego seriously is the cause of our problems. The ego is an inherently flawed thought system; whereby its full range varies only between suspiciousness and viciousness. Where is there any possibility here for love, joy, peace, certainty and trust?

The ego is that voice in the head beating you up all the time, causing problems, making you emotional, fearful, willing to hide from reality or to attack. That’s not you, that’s your ego. It merely disguises itself as you by using your human form. Also, when other people act this way, that’s not them. That’s their ego tricking them. All egos share the same dysfunctional and insane thought system. The thought system of perfect love is the anti-ego, but transcendence of ego is never easy.

“The ego is particularly likely to attack you when you react lovingly, because it has evaluated you as unloving and you are going against its judgment. The ego will attack your motives as soon as they become clearly out of accord with its perception of you. This is when it will shift abruptly from suspiciousness to viciousness. Yet it is surely pointless to attack in return.”

“You cannot evaluate an insane belief system from within it. Its range precludes this. You can only go beyond it. Look back from a point where sanity exists and see the contrast.”

To attempt to change anything about your life from within the ego is pointless, impossible, and absolutely will not work. If you want anything about you or your life to change, you must be willing to escape the ego’s grip. The ego is undone when you become perfectly honest, vulnerable, trusting, accepting, open and giving—in other words, loving. Of course, the voice in the head will give you many reasons why you can’t do this. The ego is cunning.

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Choose lasting happiness through the power of perfect honesty. Read The Switch.

The future is what you make of the present.

“Eternity is one time. Its only dimension being always.” -A Course in Miracles

Eternity is the ongoing present moment. Time, which is nothing more than a useful and practical tool for coordinating the dream of life, is based only on the movement of our planet. Time is relative to our experience of life on earth, but ultimately unreal in the universal sense. To understand this changes some things.

To believe in time is to become impatient and scared of the future. We live as though we are limited by the past and we wait for miracles in the future. In time, we isolate ourselves from others and live entirely in our minds. We wait – and by waiting for anything in the future, we make it unattainable. The future is never.

“You cannot perform a miracle for yourself, because miracles are a way of giving acceptance and receiving it. In time, the giving comes first, though they are simultaneous in eternity where they cannot be separated.”

A miracle is what happens when you let the past go and realize that the future is what you make of the present. In the oneness and safety of the eternal now, you become vulnerable and open. You awaken to everything that comes across your field of awareness: the colors, the textures, the sounds, the feelings, the words, the other souls, the smiles. Fall in love with the present moment, which is life. Greet life, each moment, in only truth and absent of fear.

Now you are humble, and the ego is dormant. You are fearless, unafraid to love and to accept others. You give everything in faith and receive everything in gratitude. When you don’t receive, you accept even this. The miracle has already occurred. It is love, which brings enduring beauty, truth, freedom and joy to this eternal now.

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Choose lasting happiness through the power of perfect honesty. Read The Switch.

We are consciousness

Life is a temporary dream. We escape this waking dream each night when we sleep. The dream ends when we die. But if all of life is only a dream, then there must be some truth which lies beyond it. Who are we, the ones experiencing this dream?

In life, there are two states of dreaming. We are either awake or asleep. Asleep, you are temporarily unaware that your dreams aren’t real and unaware of your “real life”. You only remember yourself and the details of your life when you wake up. So what happens when we wake up from this dream of life, which we all do when we die? Who are we really, the beings experiencing this dream?

We experience and perceive this dream of life with our senses. This reality is relative and, like any dream, it is temporary. Only humans experience this dream in this way, while other life forms experience the dream of life based upon how their bodies, minds and senses work. There is no ultimate truth here because everything is relative, unstable and ends at some point. Truth cannot change or it isn’t truth.

Who is the entity that all this is happening to? Who are we? There is an answer, but it can’t be perceived. We are consciousness and we are of the nothingness, the black matter, the empty space. This is the only dimension that is eternally true because it is unchanging. It gives birth to all that is and all that is returns to it. This is the dimension beyond the dream, and it is who we ultimately are.

To know this is to know the one truth that can be expressed in many ways. Come to know yourself as the observer of your dream. Your dream of life continues, but now you know it is a dream and you can enjoy it without stress or fear.

Aware of this truth, humans are free and perfect. Unaware, humans suffer terribly. If you don’t know or agree yet, just open your mind and keep exploring. Seeing beyond illusion is the ultimate success in life. It isn’t easy and often takes patience.

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Choose lasting happiness through the power of perfect honesty. Read The Switch.

Beware of the unhealed healer

If you are seeking help or healing from a guru, priest, therapist, life coach or medical practitioner — know only that healing cannot be of the ego.

We look for healers who are officially certified by institutions and therefore “credible”. In truth, centralized institutions are political — based on rules, rewards, punishment and status. All institutions are self-serving and egoic. They teach us to trust them and doubt ourselves. This is the opposite of teaching and the cause of suffering.

Then there are the countless gurus, spiritual leaders, life coaches and others. Watch carefully. Are they projecting image? Do their teachings involve judgment or do they preach unconditional love? What is their understanding of ego? Are they making a lot of money? Are they teaching you to become self-sufficient or to keep coming back for more? What do you know about their private lives?

The world is filled with fake experts whose advice is exactly wrong. There is only one path to healing, though it can be described in many ways. Healing is the undoing of ego, which is awakening, discovering consciousness, salvation, making peace with God, or aligning with love.

Healing can only happen in the absence of ego. Perfect bliss, peace, joy and health is extremely unusual in today’s world. To reach this state, you must be willing to go beyond what the world considers normal.
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Choose lasting happiness through the power of perfect honesty. Read The Switch.

To love is to humble yourself completely.

If you’ve ever been truly in love, it was because you had humbled yourself to such an extent that you had no ego. You laid yourself at the feet of your lover — offering irrational, exuberant, unconditional acceptance. You broke all your rules.

If you’ve never found true love, it is only because you’ve never humbled yourself.

True love can only exist between two people who have escaped their egos. If your relationship allows ego to survive, then there cannot be true love in that relationship.

You might think that to destroy the ego sounds drastic — even violent or abusive. This is not so, because this is not about ego destruction in the other. This is about you.

To shatter the ego is the most merciful act, the most loving act, the most beautiful thing that could happen to any person because the result is perfect love. Remarkably, this is a gift you can only give yourself.

This is what is meant when they say that first you have to learn to love yourself. Now you have learned. Love is the full escape from ego, which is what we will continue to learn about tomorrow and each day after that.

 

Choose lasting happiness through the power of perfect honesty. Read The Switch.

Reality is safety. (A Course in Miracles)

You cannot remain safe and secure by protecting yourself from reality. But let’s first understand what we mean by “reality”.

When people return from vacation, they often say “back to reality.” In truth, the crazy life we come back to is probably less real than the reality of lying in the sun on the beach in stillness. When we think of reality, we imagine the opposite of safety—something harsh, challenging, dangerous. That’s why we try to protect our children from reality. But what we call “reality” is not reality.

Everything in this world is upside-down. When we say something is “unreal”, we mean that it is somehow supreme or even better than reality. Yet when we think of reality, we imagine the harshest, most extreme conditions, the worst politicians, the wars, the hardship and despair. Yes, this is all happening in the physical world, but it is all a miscreation of the collective ego. Let’s call it “insanity”, not “reality”.

We cling to illusion because we call insanity reality. Reality, itself, is eternal peace and joy—nothing to be afraid of. By misusing the word as a synonym for “insanity”, we become afraid. So we attempt to construct an artificial world that is safe. But nothing real can be found in darkness; only in the light of truth.

Reality, by definition, must be forever true and unchanging. True love is, therefore, reality. The ways in which every human being is the same, every life form is the same—that is reality. Oneness, consciousness, spirit—this is reality.

We embrace reality each day as we meditate, as we read spiritual teachings, as we align with the healing power of nature, and as we connect with each other in love. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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Choose lasting happiness through the power of perfect honesty. Read The Switch.

Reality cannot threaten anything but illusions. (A Course in Miracles)

The process of awakening requires no sacrifice. “The only source of fear in this process is what you think you will lose.” – A Course in Miracles

Spirit will never ask you to sacrifice anything. It will, however, expose your illusions. To awaken is to open your eyes. What is real will be in your field of vision. What was imagined will vanish in an instant.

Awakening as the still observer of the mind will fundamentally change your life. Dysfunction and suffering will be repelled from you. Sometimes this takes the form of losing contact with a friend or family member. If you do experience loss after awakening, it is only the necessary loss of illusion.

Now you are a perfect expression of love and acceptance. You have also claimed your freedom to be. Those around you, who may remain in the egoic state, will not like how you have changed. Their ego is not getting what it wants. It may be shocking for you to discover that, after all, you were not loved for who you are; rather, kept around merely to play your role and to serve your purpose.

When illusion is exposed, nothing can be lost but what was unreal all along. Only the truth remains. True love endures. The value you create and the way you serve other people continue to be honored and valued. The beautiful being that you are will finally be accepted and appreciated. You are now free to fulfill the purpose of your life as you exist in perfect love, peace, freedom and abundance.

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Choose lasting happiness through the power of perfect honesty. Read The Switch.

You cannot love your partner one moment and attack the next.

If your relationship has frequent ups and downs, it is likely that you and your partner are suffering from dependency. True love is free from attack or argument and absent of blame, judgment, and guilt. Love does not struggle and knows no right or wrong. So why do couples fight?

All throughout life, the ego attempts to make itself real within us by clinging to an external sense of identity. The ego’s urge is to finally be happy and complete through the identification with status, accomplishments, relationships or possessions. It wants to be respected, listened to, and cared about. But this never quite happens because the ego is not worthy of respect, ought not be listened to, and should rightly be ignored.

All other strategies having failed, the ego finally looks to the special relationship—trying to find that one person who is yours, within your control, loyal only to you. For this, you concede the same, and the normal, monogamous romantic relationship is born. This is what people call falling in love.

Now there is a new center to your universe. For a time, you think you’ve found it—the key to permanent happiness. The problem is that your sense of identity and source of happiness is still external; dependent upon another person who is supposed to make you happy. You both need each other to behave according to strict rules in order to play along that the relationship is working. You also need to project an image out to the world as the perfect couple or family. All this requires a lot of acting, a lot of dishonesty—which causes suffering.

When the failure of this arrangement becomes apparent, the ego blames the other person rather than recognizing the falseness of the fundamental illusion being constructed. Now you frequently fight as though you are the worst of enemies. You make up, feel better, then attempt to move on. But it keeps happening again and again. The world sees a perfect couple, but it isn’t so.

Lasting love and joy are only to be found within. Know yourself and love yourself, then extend it freely. This is the holy relationship; which is based upon openness, unconditional acceptance, mutual respect and freedom. Only the holy relationship offers the kind of ongoing, endless bliss we all desire.  

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Choose lasting happiness through the power of perfect honesty. Read The Switch.