Posts categorized "Love"

Everything the ego tells you that you need will hurt you. (A Course in Miracles)

“Although the ego urges you again and again to get, it leaves you nothing. For what you get it will demand of you.”

You are not at home in time; rather, in eternity. The ego seeks happiness and safety by denying the unavoidable realities of material existence, which is always unstable, always shifting and temporary. It seeks to get more and then to hold onto it—even if that means sacrificing your joy, your freedom, your entire life.

A Course in Miracles teaches us to trust in the energy of love, which it also calls the Holy Spirit, which I might also call the force of life itself or consciousness—which will always provide everything we need in the ongoing present moment without asking for any sacrifice and without stealing any joy.

It knows that the material world is shifting and unstable, that our physical form will grow, change, and then die—but to align with the thought system and energy of love is to know that, in its embrace, you are always safe, you will always have everything you need, and when something is no longer useful you can let it go.

The worldly answers of the psychologists, the educators, and all the so-called authorities combined know nothing other than confusion, but they are great teachers. Take in the lessons of the world, but evaluate everything within the perfect knowledge of love. You will not error, you will not lack, and you will know no fear. Love knows no fear because fear is your mind’s natural reaction to error. “Sin is where love is not,” and sin is nothing other than error that can be corrected in love. Fear can only exist within you to the extent love does not.

“Therefore, ask not of yourself what you need; for you do not know. And your advice to yourself will hurt you. For what you think you need will merely serve to tighten up your world against the light, and render you unwilling to question the value that this world can really hold for you.” (All quotes from A Course in Miracles). We continue tomorrow and each day after that.
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The world you see must be denied, for sight of it is costing you a different kind of vision. (A Course in Miracles)

“You do not really want the world you see, for it has disappointed you since time began.” You cannot see the world and at the same time see the spiritual reality. There is a choice: one must be made real and the other denied. One contains everything you want, the other everything you do not want.

When you allow pollution to come into your awareness—whether it be the fear-mongering of the government, the corporate media, the deception of advertising, or negative ideas and conversations—you are pulled away from joy, which is your natural state of being. What you give your attention to must not pull you away from joy, from an underlying sense of ease, from the state where there is calm and peace within. When it does pull you away, you can stop, change course, do a meditation, take a nap, you can do something that makes you feel good and then start again. This is how real problems are solved and progress is made.

Anything done, said, or created when you don’t feel good is a miscreation. All the ugliness of this world was miscreated by people who were detached from the natural state of joy within. All that ugliness cannot be fought from a place of ugliness, but it can be ignored and left to die.

I do not give any attention or reality to error. I do not debate. I do not get outraged. I am not afraid—for this would make error seem real, to give it power it does not have, and to pull me away from joy. Spiritual vision looks within to recognize and embrace reality, and my reality is identical to yours if you will do the same. It is love.

Our lives are shaped by where we put our attention. Find the source of love within, where you remember perfectly well that you are innocent and complete. Feel your positive energy growing. Stay connected to this place in all your thinking and doing, ignoring all else. The reality of love, the only reality, is the only power, the energy of life itself, which contains everything you want within it. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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Can sexual freedom be loving, non-destructive and guiltless?

Deep down, most people would enjoy a life in which it is possible to freely explore sexual adventures involving many partners. What holds us back from following our intense, natural cravings is that we want to avoid making someone jealous. As thrilling and enjoyable as perfect sex can be, we clearly understand that no sex is worth causing terrible pain, ruining a relationship, or harming anyone’s life in any way. So, the simple solution that most people choose is to suppress our needs around sex.

The main reason we suppress our sexual needs is because of the sexual jealousy of others; mainly, our primary partners. The problem is that forced-monogamous relationships are built upon a foundation that is both fragile and less than honest. For most people, the promise of life-long monogamy brings with it great and ongoing struggles and frustrations. By suppressing sex, we close our hearts and minds to new people, we cut ourselves off from other beautiful human beings, and many of us slowly sink into depression and low energy.

So we drink more, we eat junk food, we smoke, we watch trash entertainment, we engage in safe small-talk, and we form all sorts of bad habits to distract us from the simple problem that we are not free and we are not honest. Worse yet, none of this works.

Despite our best intentions, most people with strong sexual needs end up breaking relationships and cheating. They just can’t take it anymore and nature wins. The more you make something off-limits, the more you want it. In the beginning of a relationship, it is easy to promise monogamy. You have that new relationship energy (NRE), you are in love, you communicate freely, you respect one another—everything feels right and the need for sexual variety is minimal.

But by making the promise of lifelong monogamy to anyone, you cut off the possibility of perfect honesty if your heart ever changes, and you remove unconditional acceptance and freedom from the relationship. The relationship then becomes not about unconditional love, acceptance, openness, and trust; rather, it slowly becomes a job where you must live up to expectations and conditions.

The normal marriage is all about the promise of monogamy. But inevitably, one or both partners will have strong feelings and needs that violate the promise. When this happens, lies follow, maybe eventually cheating, and everything breaks. It is a story we know all too well, and yet we continue to do relationships as though it isn’t going to happen to us.

There is a better way to do relationships, and it works perfectly. From the very beginning, you can lovingly explain to your partner that you will never require them to be sexually or emotionally monogamous—and of course that you would require the same in return if you are going to be together. You know it is going to be very difficult to overcome sexual jealousy, but it is possible, and the alternative to dealing with jealousy is worse, and that for the purpose of your sacred love and respect toward one another, you can do this.

This doesn’t mean that you are going to be desperately running around with other people all the time. In fact, you may never even have the need or the opportunity. But, if the relationship is going to be based on true love rather than control and manipulation, you have to both maintain the right to be sexually free if there is ever a need.

How you go about practicing non-monogamy is for you both to explore and to decide. It will be a personal choice that always honors the needs and feelings of your partner. You need to learn the language of love, talk about your relationship, how you feel, why your partner is the right person for you to spend a lifetime with, how no other person is a better fit and how relationships with other people only remind you of this—and all of this needs to be true or you should never live together or have children in the first place.

I can assure you, through personal experience, that the result of such a relationship is the experience of ongoing bliss and love—which grows even stronger as the years go by. Imagine the closeness you would feel with someone with whom you can express yourself fully, at the deepest levels. Imagine how much you would appreciate enjoying your sexual freedom—with consenting adults who you are honest with—without risk or shame. If either of you find yourself going down that scary path of jealous thoughts, you can talk about it, accept that it is happening, and it will dissolve in the light of your perfect love.

If you are already in a monogamous relationship and your partner will not consider opening it up, I sincerely don’t know what to tell you. I do believe we should live in perfect honesty, and this is what I have done in my life; but your choice is entirely yours. If you are currently single or starting a new relationship, then this is the way to build a foundation of perfect stability and lasting love and joy. Try it. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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If it is not direct communication, then I don’t understand anything

Can you imagine that there exist people who expect others to understand them even without directly communicating what they are trying to say? They use gestures or facial expressions when impeccable words are called for. They attack verbally about something totally unrelated. They withhold response, cut communication, withhold intimacy, or pout—expecting others to wonder why, to care, and to guess correctly about the message and respond accordingly.

In my life, none of this childish behavior is even perceptible and communicates nothing at all. I look past it without even trying to. I don’t even know how to see it as anything other than insanity. If you want me to understand what you are trying to say, then please do your best to say it, to explain it, to tell me how you feel, show me who you are—reveal your truest self through your deepest honesty and I promise that I will dig deep down and will respond with as much patience, love and understanding as I can muster. It isn’t going to hurt!

Those who lack the courage to say what they mean are faking—building a life of illusion, afraid of being honest and vulnerable. They are resisting true human connection all for the purpose of protecting their ego. This is a tragic error that can easily be corrected.

Now there is a new kind of human being emerging in this world. Through directness, openness, and a total commitment to honesty, we so easily live our truth, replacing confusion with perfect knowledge, isolation with union, fear with love, lack with abundance. This is only possible after a decision to shatter the ego, to transcend it, to laugh at its destruction and place all faith in what is real, true, and honest. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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It's not scary to be honest

Imagine going through life in such a way that you are never exactly honest about anything. In everything you do and say, the question is never about what's true; rather, about what you are supposed to say, how you are supposed to feel, and what you are supposed to want (all according to the opinions and expectations of others).

The underlying principle here is this: I'm faking, I'm hiding, I'm lying about everything and I expect everyone else to do the same. We all know what is going on here, but by calling it "normal" and pretending there is no alternative to a life of faking, we go on.

As we do go on faking, we accumulate such a heavy and impossible burden; to the extent that we bury ourselves and forget entirely who we are.

I am telling you that another life is possible: your life, staring you, with truth and honesty as your guide. Yes, you can be honest with everyone, even in business, even in romance, even with your family. As you do, a miracle happens: all that you do not want disappears, and each breath of your life is filled with everything you've always wanted.

If you understand this fully and have enough faith that what's real is real, then you can remember this moment as your awakening to a new life. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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One cannot be full of love for one person and devoid of love for everyone else (Osho)

It is impossible to love one person and despise another. A loving person is one who loves himself and then always extends that love to everyone else. Not only to all other people, even to all other animals and life forms. Not only to all life forms, but to all objects and to all of existence. A loving person is filled with love each moment, even when she is alone in a room.  

In contrast, a person who misunderstands love is filled with frustration, impatience, anger, hatred, and an endless range of negative emotions all arising from the core negative emotion: fear. She can get angry at a cat; he can slam a door or throw something across the room for no reason other than the mind-created emotional suffering within.

This person may claim to love her spouse or his children, but this kind of love is conditional, unfree, only concerned with a set of expectations—so it is ultimately brittle and unreal. One day, her so-called loved ones will see her true nature, and will so easily lose faith in her love. This is how trust erodes, how resentment is created, how children withdraw into teenage angst, how relationships are broken—and how everyone in this world is incorrectly doing relationships.

When we claim to love and then ever demonstrate the opposite, we teach others to lose faith in love, in God, in the basic goodness of life, itself. Love is the whole truth, and for life to work, we must be love always, with everyone, and toward everything. To do this is to enter what Jesus called the Kingdom of Heaven, which is a state of eternal bliss accessible now to anyone who aligns with perfect love. Here is found abundance, health, safety, and everything we most deeply want.

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How to access all power and strength

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This message is literal, self-evident, and beyond debate even to those who do not practice perfect, total, unconditional love with everyone always.

Still, the ego cannot accept this message, because to do so would be to look upon its total impotence and insanity...which would be its death and your awakening.

There is nothing magic here, nothing supernatural you have to believe, nothing you need sacrifice other than the endless stream of error, dishonesty, and other forms of suffering, all arising from fear.

Perfect love flows from within you when you forgive yourself, recognize your perfect innocence, and open your heart and mind. Love then effortlessly flows from you in all your being and doing...as you heal the world through pure joy, truth, beauty, honesty, and charity that diminishes you on no way and takes nothing from you.

Perfect love is not just a good idea, or a nice thing to talk about, it is literally life energy itself, divine power, perfect knowledge. But if you want it, you must want it fully, always.

Or continue following the confused voice in the head, conditioned by a loveless world, and hope for solutions that have not arrived and never will.

Now do you place your faith in love or in the ego? This is the only real decision any of us need to make.

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Abscondo Podcast #88: Do we believe yet?

There is still just that one solution to every problem, the only response to everything, the only possibility of salvation, the only way to change the world. Do we believe yet?

Abscondo Podcast 88

Listen here or wherever you normally listen to podcasts. Enjoy!

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Just do it; but do it in love!

What you believe to be true will be true for you. Believe anything negative is real—or that anything terrible is going to happen—and it will be so. Fearful thoughts manifest exactly that which you fear. While it sounds easy to change your thoughts, there is only one way to control fearful or negative thoughts.   

What about belief in a positive vision—believing that you will get what you want? While this works the same way (whatever you believe will come true), again, there is only one way to succeed at this.

Anything is possible in your life so long as it is not sacrificed, compromised, or negotiated away—but it is only possible after humbling yourself to that which is beyond negotiation, that which is eternally true.

There is only one way to end fear and negativity, only one way to align all thought and behavior with the positive, only one way to manifest lasting joy, abundance, bliss, peace, and safety. The way is through perfect love combined with perfect truth.

You can negotiate all the details, experience all your wildest fantasies, live life to the fullest—but only through a total commitment to unconditional love always combined with a decision to always tell the truth, no matter what, and always want the truth, no matter what. To do this is to spiritually awaken and to end the problems of your life and of this world.

Love and truth are never negotiable. Believe otherwise and become lost in the insanity and endless errors of the ego. Love cannot be defined according to your preferences, and nothing can be gained by manipulating or rejecting the truth about anything. All failure, suffering, and crisis are rooted in this error.

A Course in Miracles correctly teaches that “sin is where love is not.” Where there is anything less than perfect honesty and truth, there is no love. Where there is lack of forgiveness or acceptance, there is no love. Where there is an attempt to get rather than to give, there is no love. Where there is attack in any form, there is no love.

Love is the one non-negotiable, the only solution to any challenge and the correct response to any situation. Learn what perfect love is, live it fully, and everything else in life is yours. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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There is a light this world cannot give, but you can give it. (A Course in Miracles)

Why do we want so badly to change the world? Because we long so badly for paradise, or even just a temporary retreat from the madness. We want the darkness of this world to end so that peace, love, justice, and kindness might reign.

But can we really ask more of the world than what it is? I don’t think so. From my perspective, the world is not dark. It is filled with so much beauty and perfection that it cannot be fully experienced in 1,000 lifetimes. There is so much light, so much color, so much warmth, mostly balance, the right amount of excitement, and pervasive beauty available to all the senses. It is all here, surrounding us right now. Even human beings, if looked upon in this light, are the most magnificent creation of all.

Where anything is wrong, it is that we have retreated from the natural state of beauty into the darkness of our own minds. We have assumed our own fictitious stories and identities, and have withdrawn into our own darkness. Yes, we have been conditioned unjustly and led astray; but this tragic outcome is nothing more than an individual choice for each and every one of us alive.

How is it that we claim to seek light from the world and not see it? Why do we claim to want light when, in truth, we have sought only darkness and have cared only about the darkness? The end of this tragic error starts now.

What I call the light is life, itself, which is experienced as the energy of love. Its energy pervades this world and it is what we are. You are innocent, the doors of this so-called prison are wide open, and you need only take a single step toward the light. See only the light within and without—be only that, ignoring all else because nothing else has any reality. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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