Posts categorized "Love"

What is the one thing that holds people back from spiritual awakening?

Spiritual awakening is all or nothing. To awaken spiritually, you must go all the way. All the way to what?

1) To absolute faith in perfect love as the only appropriate response and the correct solution to every challenge.
2) To a total commitment to perfect honesty and wanting only truth.

While I break this out into two separate points, they are one. A fundamental attribute of perfect love is perfect openness and honesty—but failure on point 2 is so common that I wanted to draw your attention to it (my free eBook, The Switch is about this).

Other attributes of perfect love include forgiveness, acceptance, openness, and generosity. Regardless of the path you are on, the teachers who you follow, and the words you use to describe spiritual concepts—anything less than a total and complete commitment to perfect love always and with everyone is no spiritual awakening. You may fall short at times, but you see it right away and correct.

If you hold back—perhaps maintaining any belief that some thoughts or truths should be private, that attack and punishment sometimes teach a lesson, that corruption and evil have real power, that you are vulnerable and fear is legitimate, that you are guilty, that illness is real, or that worldly powers have legitimate authority—then you are not spiritually awakened and remain in the normal, egoic state. If ego remains real to you at all, then you remain in a state of confusion and suffering.

When I say go all the way, I am not speaking of sacrifice. Go all the way to joy. Notice anything, anyone, or any situation that pulls you away from joy. Stop agreeing with it. I don’t mean you should avoid people or situations; rather, speak your truth to it and accept whatever outcome. No discipline is required for you to spiritually awaken because you are only giving up everything that you do not want—everything that causes suffering and crisis. Constant discipline and sacrifice is what must be given up and unlearned if joy and peace are to be experienced.

Now, if you have been living in a way in which you have not been perfectly loving always, and have not been perfectly open and honest, you will have to go through what appears to be suffering and crisis for a time. The cause of this transitional phase is not your spiritual awakening; rather, that you have been living in error up until it. Now you need to go through some life changes, which will happen naturally—requiring no planning, strategy, or manipulation on your part. If you are unwilling to accept this process, you are holding back (which is what we are talking about). If you go all the way, then everything will fall into place.

Go all the way, where there is no more internal conflict or confusion. I assure you that only love is true, only consciousness is real, that you (as spirit) are invulnerable and eternal. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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What are the basic elements of a perfect sexual relationship?

Sex is divine. Most people feel an irresistible urge for perfect sex. When we get sex right, nothing in life is more enjoyable. But such great power must be approached with respect and handled with wisdom. Otherwise, sex has the power to destroy.

When the following 3 conditions are met in your sexual relationships, then nobody gets hurt, no damage is done, and the relationship is as healthy and beneficial as it is enjoyable. Sex is good, right, and healthy when:

There is open and honest communication:

Too often, seduction involves deception. Maybe there is an implicit promise of forever—or at least of an ongoing monogamous relationship—when that is not the real intention of one or both parties. Others settle for a less than perfect sex life because they are afraid to talk about their likes, dislikes, or expectations in an attempt to please a partner.

The simple rule here is: whatever is on your mind, whatever you want, whatever you feel, you both need to share it. Open and honest communication requires a relationship based upon patience and acceptance—involving no judgement or attack. If you miss the mark of perfect honesty or perfect acceptance of the other person’s honesty, you can apologize, talk about the error, and try again.

It is important to mention that the openness and honestly does not only extent to the two people in the sexual relationship. Honesty also must extend to anyone else in your lives who may be legitimately impacted. Non-monogamy can work, but only if there is perfect honesty and openness in all your intimate relationships.  

There is compatibility:

If there is no physical attraction both ways—no genuine excitement or mild obsession when you think about or look at a person—there is no point to forming a sexual relationship at all. Furthermore, your likes and preferences should be compatible in bed and even with respect to your life situation. If there is no fit, accept the situation, move on, and allow the relationship to be whatever it is (or is not).

The relationship is loving:

Your job is not to judge whether the other person is loving; rather, for you to be loving in everything you feel, say, and do. We are talking about your relationship with a person who is willing to share everything with you, to bare themselves completely, to experience the ultimate vulnerability that can be shared between two people. Whether or not you both intend to stay together forever, such a relationship must be approached with the thought system and value system of love.

Perhaps no word is more misunderstood in this world than “love”. Perfect love is not something you get from another person. It is found within as you learn to love yourself. As you begin to discover love’s forgiveness, acceptance, patience, peace, and bliss, you are naturally more capable of extending it to others. As you do, you find that your relationships are wonderful, and nobody gets hurt.

Perfect love unlocks the other two elements. Without love, perfect honesty is impossible because it is often nasty. No one wants your judgements, manipulations, or attacks. Without love, there can also be no compatibility because you are not offering anything desirable.

When we stray from these three perfect conditions, the sex isn’t as good and there are negative consequences that are more severe than any pleasure we get from the sex. But if you can truly put these principles into practice, and even gently show your partners how to do the same, you can enjoy an ongoing sex life that is better than your wildest fantasies.

Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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Posted by Abscondo

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Change can only happen in the mind

It is easy to pretend that your thoughts don’t have power. The truth is your thoughts are the most powerful force in the world.

Imagine, even if external circumstances (or perceived causes of problems) were to completely change, an unhealed mind would continue generating problems (symptoms). You can even treat those symptoms, but if the mind is not changed, more of the same symptoms will continue to arise from the same behaviors.

Notice how your mind never stops creating, even in sleep. Aside from during brief moments of meditation, the mind essentially never shuts off. Constantly interpreting everything, creating meaning, and telling you what to do. So change your mind, and everything you say and do changes with it. Everything you see is also understood differently.

But how, you may ask, can I know when my mind is working for me or working against me? If this is true, then what is right-mindedness? The answer is very simple, completely true, and there is no exception. If you have any fear (otherwise called stress, anxiety, or worry), then you are actively creating problems and nothing can change for the better. Notice also that, if there is fear, then you must be lacking love.

Healing (the Atonement) can only happen when you make up your mind to put all faith in love. Fear is the plague. The illusion of sickness in this world today is created by people consumed with fear and acting out those perceptions. The manifestation of physical sickness is caused by the same—a mind filled with fear rather than unconditional love.

But you don’t fully believe in the cure, which is why nothing will change yet. Your mind is so powerful that the solution is impossible if you do not change it.

To put full faith in love is to change your thoughts, to heal your mind, to fully awaken. It is salvation—a state in which your mind is aligned with the perfection, completeness, and safety of the soul / spirit / consciousness.

This shift away from the illusion of fear and toward the reality of unconditional love is the only path toward real change. To believe anything else is a choice to seek but never find. But to chose love is to find immediately, to enter heaven now, in this life, in this moment. The choice is yours. Yes, you have that much power. Total power over it all. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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Posted by Abscondo

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All confusion arises from the conflict between the reality of love and the illusion of fear

Today, I am re-committing to a life absent of fear. I recognize that, when I have allowed any fear to become real for me, then I am cut off from the divine, I am paralyzed as a creator, I am lost in confusion, and serve no purpose.

I also realize that fearful ideas and stories are no guide at all. I can easily navigate any situation and make any decision correctly without fearful details. I don’t need to understand how dangerous a vaccine is to know that I do not need a vaccine and am free to make my own choice on the matter. I don’t need to understand the sick and brutal truths about the powerful and corrupt when I know that total safety is the eternal reality for those who always forgive and do not attack.

Many try to capture your attention with fearful messages. There is always a moral justification for this, but causing fear is always cruel because it leaves you lost, stagnant, and depressed. I have only been happy in life when I have filtered out fear entirely. I withdraw attention from the news. I disengage from the dark, frightening conspiracy theories about things we cannot know for sure. I shift all my attention to the value system and thought system of perfect love.

All that is not loving is false, insane, and does not even exist. Love is truth, beauty, safety, freedom, and everything we do want. Love is light, and it cannot be conquered by the darkness of fear. But join in that darkness, and you may become lost.

My only purpose is to love, and from the perspective of love to always be creating. Raising children lovingly is one of the most creative endeavors because they, in turn, will love and create. Sharing this message with others is the same. I will create in music, in writing, in other art forms, and in my work. I will create visibly and in private, both in this life and beyond.

All confusion arises from the conflict between the reality of love and the illusion of fear. Today I am leaving no more room for confusion. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.   

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What are the Top 5 beliefs that make true love impossible?

I believe every person has access to perfect love. Relationship problems result from learned errors. Here are the Top 5 beliefs and thought patters that block love and cause relationship problems:

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1) Belief in guilt.

As innocent children born into an unwell world, we have been taught to feel ashamed of ourselves. The natural process of learning and growing requires that we make mistakes along the way. Rather than being encouraged to look honestly at errors, consider the consequences of our actions, and unemotionally making adjustments—most of the people in our lives make us guilty, shame us, and tell us we are no good. When we believe this about ourselves, we begin to loathe ourselves. When we loathe ourselves, it becomes impossible to love ourselves or anyone else.

Know that you are not guilty, and neither is anyone else. We have all made mistakes and have acted in ways that does not honor reality. Errors can be corrected, but only if looked upon lovingly, honestly, and without judgment. Simply notice how your words and actions made you feel. How did it make others feel? What was the result of your deeds? Is this what you want or is there a better way? Think about it, talk about it, and experiment until you get it right.

2) Belief in attacking to teach a lesson.

This is closely related to belief 1. The thought system of the world is to judge others and then to respond with reward or punishment as a mechanism of control. This is a violent, manipulative way to get others to obey us without consent. This is one form of attack. Other forms include violence, arguing, insulting, etc.

The problem with belief in attack is that it leads to rebellion, resentment, and teaches us to react in fear rather than in common sense and wisdom. The other problem is that it is impossible to feel love within the thought system of attack or a relationship based on attack (because it is violent).  


3) That there is ever a good reason to withhold honesty.

Another common blockage to our ability to love is that we are afraid to be honest and we are afraid of the truth. When we restrict honesty, we are restricting the free flow of communication. Yet, it is through open communication that love flourishes. Loving yourself is about knowing yourself and being honest with yourself about you. Loving another is just the same. Withhold or prevent honesty and you destroy love.

Practicing honesty requires a willingness for both parties to accept. There can be no judgment, no making wrong, and no attack as a response to honesty or honesty will be impossible in that relationship. What we are talking about here is unconditional love. Any love that is conditional is not love; rather, an arrangement.


4) Believing that you get love from another person.

Most people want to be loved by another person, but lasting love from another is impossible unless we first learn to love ourselves. This, of course, has become a cliché (yet, even so, it is rarely understood or practiced).

Spend some quiet time with yourself and think deeply about the ideas in this post. Remember that you are innocent, that you are good, that any shame or guilt you feel has restricted you from love—yet, at your core, you are love.

This is the process of unblocking yourself that we are talking about, and it is a necessary step before we can experience perfect love with another person.


5) Faith in time.

Most people seek love by waiting for circumstances to change, for someone to finally apologize for this or to do that. Others are waiting to meet the “right person”. But waiting is not seeking. Infinite possibilities for love exist right here, right now—and the present moment is the only dimension of reality that has ever existed.

Love yourself perfectly now. Love those in your life perfectly now. Greet new people with perfect love as well. This is how you transform your life into one that is filled with perfect love everywhere. Everyone meant for you will fit exactly where they were meant to fit. But it happens now, not in the future.

Posted by Abscondo

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The world’s crisis is not mine and does not threaten me

The world is now openly insane. Yet the sane minority remain calm and without fear because we know what is real and unreal. We know that illnesses, attacks, threats, punishments, and lies are unreal to the point that they do not even exist. These are all just fear-based concepts of the ego—which is always wrong, confused about everything, and totally impotent.

Only what is real exists. What is true must be eternal, unchanging, and beyond threat (otherwise it isn’t real). There are certain laws to reality, and if we align with and obey these laws, we remain in perfect joy and peace. Here we cannot be threatened by the external violence and fear-based insanity around us.

In the simplest terms, reality is unconditional love and perfect honesty. We might call this the foundation of morality. Each of the Bible’s Ten Commandments, for example, relate to love and honesty. From this foundation, we can ask profound questions about what love is and what love does. What is it not and what does it not do? We can notice what happens when we think and act in a way that is not loving. We can also look at the inescapable consequences of dishonesty.

Belief in idols is the opposite of faith in reality. Belief in idols means belief that something unreal has power (status, wealth, a government, a healthcare system, a vaccine, etc.). In perfect love and perfect honesty, we are complete and perfect. Nothing can be added to complete and perfect—so there is no reason to seek or care about anything else. Everything we need in the world effortlessly flows to us when we shrug off idols and place all faith in reality.

This is no sacrifice and is not even difficult because nothing else but love and honesty are desirable. When you put all your faith here—when this becomes your reality—then that which is unreal does not even impact you. As the energy of love and honesty, you cannot be attacked. If someone tries, it will not affect your emotions and your loving response will diffuse the situation. All the fear mongering in the news, the endless threats of sickness, death, and violence against us—this is their attempt to make us believe in idols. Their idols are not any cure and their illness is not a reality.

There is only one way to end this crisis. We must want the truth—the good, bad, and the ugly. We must then learn what God’s perfect love is and what it does. We must understand what the ego is and does—and slay this serpent forever. The ego is that fear within you, that stress, that anger and desperation. It is also the collective ego that is driving all this madness everywhere. Fortunately, this crisis has finally exposed the ego’s insanity and ugliness—which has been living beneath the surface for thousands of years. Now that the insanity is exposed, there is no going back to a world where the ego can appear normal and functional. We are at ego’s end and God wins.

The only way forward, as individuals and as a society, is through unconditional love and perfect honesty. Our job is to learn to love ourselves, to humble ourselves and surrender to the Source, to find the bravery to speak the truth and want the truth—and then to extend that perfect love and truth-telling to a world of lost souls who need healing. To doubt this message is to decide against healing and joy and for suffering and crisis. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.  

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Purification is the decision to align your beliefs with higher truths

It is a choice to disassociate from the ego. A decision to value the miracle of the now, to practice non-resistance to what is, and to always respond to everyone and everything lovingly.

Higher truth is grasped in the form of various concepts and words, yet it is one whole. If you understand one piece of it (e.g., forgiveness), you have accessed the whole. This whole is nothing other than perfect knowledge, and perfect knowledge is superior to mere perception. It is also far superior to so-called rationality (which does not even exist).

Higher truth includes some of the following spiritual beliefs:

  • I believe that I am not my mind; rather, that my true identity is formless consciousness (or awareness, love, presence…these are all different words that mean the same thing and the words do not matter).
  • I do not believe in the reality of fear because I know that I am eternally invulnerable beyond form.
  • I believe that I am perfectly complete now, in this eternal, ongoing present moment, and am waiting for no future destination of salvation or heaven. The entire reality exists now and there is no other time than now.
  • I believe that the thought system of love is perfect and wholly true. Sin is where love is not. Anything done in love is done correctly. One need only learn what love truly is and what love truly does. There are books about it. I wrote a free eBook that you may enjoy on this topic, and it is called Belove: How to End Pain by Escaping Your Ego.
  • As love, we believe not in manipulation or attack; rather, in the thought system that is effortlessly giving, creating, accepting, open, free, fearless, joyful, blissful, and capable of solving every problem because the only problem is lack of love.

Purified, we feel the perfect energy flow from within and life is instantly and constantly perfect. From this true belief system, our decisions are very different. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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Lack of love in this world is the only problem

Ignorant of love, humans are a cancer on the planet. We destroy. We use up. We suffer.

Enough. The only priority in this life is that we learn to love. In love we heal, we create, we provide, and we enjoy.

Most people do not know what love is. Love’s energy and wisdom has been lost in this world. We have it upside-down. Everything about life that doesn’t matter has been made to matter; yet it still doesn’t matter because love is still all that matters.

Love is not what you find or get from anyone, it is what you are. Love is not a feeling or an arrangement, it is a way of being in truth.

Forgive yourself. Forgive and accept it all. There is nothing wrong with you and there never has been. There is nothing you need to become other than what you are: love. Be that.

Love does not come to you; rather, it comes from within you. Let go of all that is blocking the love flowing from within. This is success. Furthermore, horrific revelations are about emerge that will require us all to see the world from the perspective of love, if only to maintain sanity in the face of evil. We want only love. We use it to transform darkness. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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If you don’t build your relationship on the truth, sooner or later it will crumble. (Thich Nhat Hanh)

So often, truth is withheld in relationships with the best of intentions. We want to avoid making the person we love feel uncomfortable or upset. We present a “better” version of ourselves to be loved more and to make the relationship stronger. Despite how normal and well-intentioned this is, it is also the way that relationships are poisoned.

The first thing that happens is that the person withholding or twisting the truth feels afraid of being discovered. You also feel isolated, misunderstood, and distant. Now there are problems and unmet needs that the person you love cannot help you with because he or she is unaware. Not saying how you feel or what you mean—expecting the other person to guess—leads to friction and resentment.

What about the other person? If you are afraid to be honest in your relationship, you probably don’t encourage it or welcome it from your partner. So both of you feel the same low-level, ongoing suffering. Besides, it is exhausting to fake anything, especially at home. Acting is work and nobody can be happy without breaks from work.

We learn about relationships from the world of entertainment, where characters are always trying to manipulate reality. This is what all movies are about. If there were a movie about two people who were perfectly open and honest always, there would be no plot, no intrigue, no drama, no crisis to deal with. This movie has never been made, but this sort of life is possible and fully desirable.

What most people do not know until it is too late, is that the truth always eventually comes out. You can go on for years getting away with something, playing a role, pretending. But reality is designed in such a way that everything will be known. When it is, you will face crisis and everything you built on that foundation of shifting sand will crumble.

Even if it may seem difficult at first, if there are risks involved in speaking your truth, every relationship must be built on truth and openness to be joyful and eternal. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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Loneliness is the suffering of our time. (Thich Nhat Hahn)

Until we learn to love completely and really communicate, there can be no relief from loneliness. No amount of shallow interactions and no new forms of technology will help. We can meetup, hangout, engage with social media—we can even get married and start a family—still many people feel misunderstood, not accepted, empty, isolated, and alone. All the while, we deeply crave true connection.

This is just how the ego likes it. Separation is the foundation of the ego’s belief system and a necessary requirement for keeping the ego firmly intact. The unease of loneliness provides a justification for suffering while driving us to look to the future for gratification and to hold onto past grievances. We loath ourselves for our inability to fit-in, we blame others by judging and labeling them as somehow wrong—all because of ego (which works the same way for everyone). Ego—the violently-imposed thought system of the world designed to enslave us—is an illness that feeds on our misery, asks for endless sacrifice, while falsely promising happiness someday.

If, by some fluke, we might experience only a tiny glimpse into the bliss of union, true intimacy, or unconditional love with no boundaries...only then do we forget about the past, care less about the future, and look past flaws in ourselves and in others. True union is possible, but only in the absence of ego.

Lasting, blissful union remains only a dream—or, at best, a once-in-a-lifetime type of experience for most people. Unless you learn to escape the ego and find someone else who is also willing to unlearn the conditioning and domestication that has been done to us by the world. It is a simple decision, available at any moment we decide that the suffering is no longer acceptable. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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