Posts categorized "Love"

Purification is the decision to align your beliefs with higher truths

It is a choice to disassociate from the ego. A decision to value the miracle of the now, to practice non-resistance to what is, and to always respond to everyone and everything lovingly.

Higher truth is grasped in the form of various concepts and words, yet it is one whole. If you understand one piece of it (e.g., forgiveness), you have accessed the whole. This whole is nothing other than perfect knowledge, and perfect knowledge is superior to mere perception. It is also far superior to so-called rationality (which does not even exist).

Higher truth includes some of the following spiritual beliefs:

  • I believe that I am not my mind; rather, that my true identity is formless consciousness (or awareness, love, presence…these are all different words that mean the same thing and the words do not matter).
  • I do not believe in the reality of fear because I know that I am eternally invulnerable beyond form.
  • I believe that I am perfectly complete now, in this eternal, ongoing present moment, and am waiting for no future destination of salvation or heaven. The entire reality exists now and there is no other time than now.
  • I believe that the thought system of love is perfect and wholly true. Sin is where love is not. Anything done in love is done correctly. One need only learn what love truly is and what love truly does. There are books about it. I wrote a free eBook that you may enjoy on this topic, and it is called Belove: How to End Pain by Escaping Your Ego.
  • As love, we believe not in manipulation or attack; rather, in the thought system that is effortlessly giving, creating, accepting, open, free, fearless, joyful, blissful, and capable of solving every problem because the only problem is lack of love.

Purified, we feel the perfect energy flow from within and life is instantly and constantly perfect. From this true belief system, our decisions are very different. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

  696b

Posted by Abscondo

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Lack of love in this world is the only problem

Ignorant of love, humans are a cancer on the planet. We destroy. We use up. We suffer.

Enough. The only priority in this life is that we learn to love. In love we heal, we create, we provide, and we enjoy.

Most people do not know what love is. Love’s energy and wisdom has been lost in this world. We have it upside-down. Everything about life that doesn’t matter has been made to matter; yet it still doesn’t matter because love is still all that matters.

Love is not what you find or get from anyone, it is what you are. Love is not a feeling or an arrangement, it is a way of being in truth.

Forgive yourself. Forgive and accept it all. There is nothing wrong with you and there never has been. There is nothing you need to become other than what you are: love. Be that.

Love does not come to you; rather, it comes from within you. Let go of all that is blocking the love flowing from within. This is success. Furthermore, horrific revelations are about emerge that will require us all to see the world from the perspective of love, if only to maintain sanity in the face of evil. We want only love. We use it to transform darkness. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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If you don’t build your relationship on the truth, sooner or later it will crumble. (Thich Nhat Hanh)

So often, truth is withheld in relationships with the best of intentions. We want to avoid making the person we love feel uncomfortable or upset. We present a “better” version of ourselves to be loved more and to make the relationship stronger. Despite how normal and well-intentioned this is, it is also the way that relationships are poisoned.

The first thing that happens is that the person withholding or twisting the truth feels afraid of being discovered. You also feel isolated, misunderstood, and distant. Now there are problems and unmet needs that the person you love cannot help you with because he or she is unaware. Not saying how you feel or what you mean—expecting the other person to guess—leads to friction and resentment.

What about the other person? If you are afraid to be honest in your relationship, you probably don’t encourage it or welcome it from your partner. So both of you feel the same low-level, ongoing suffering. Besides, it is exhausting to fake anything, especially at home. Acting is work and nobody can be happy without breaks from work.

We learn about relationships from the world of entertainment, where characters are always trying to manipulate reality. This is what all movies are about. If there were a movie about two people who were perfectly open and honest always, there would be no plot, no intrigue, no drama, no crisis to deal with. This movie has never been made, but this sort of life is possible and fully desirable.

What most people do not know until it is too late, is that the truth always eventually comes out. You can go on for years getting away with something, playing a role, pretending. But reality is designed in such a way that everything will be known. When it is, you will face crisis and everything you built on that foundation of shifting sand will crumble.

Even if it may seem difficult at first, if there are risks involved in speaking your truth, every relationship must be built on truth and openness to be joyful and eternal. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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Loneliness is the suffering of our time. (Thich Nhat Hahn)

Until we learn to love completely and really communicate, there can be no relief from loneliness. No amount of shallow interactions and no new forms of technology will help. We can meetup, hangout, engage with social media—we can even get married and start a family—still many people feel misunderstood, not accepted, empty, isolated, and alone. All the while, we deeply crave true connection.

This is just how the ego likes it. Separation is the foundation of the ego’s belief system and a necessary requirement for keeping the ego firmly intact. The unease of loneliness provides a justification for suffering while driving us to look to the future for gratification and to hold onto past grievances. We loath ourselves for our inability to fit-in, we blame others by judging and labeling them as somehow wrong—all because of ego (which works the same way for everyone). Ego—the violently-imposed thought system of the world designed to enslave us—is an illness that feeds on our misery, asks for endless sacrifice, while falsely promising happiness someday.

If, by some fluke, we might experience only a tiny glimpse into the bliss of union, true intimacy, or unconditional love with no boundaries...only then do we forget about the past, care less about the future, and look past flaws in ourselves and in others. True union is possible, but only in the absence of ego.

Lasting, blissful union remains only a dream—or, at best, a once-in-a-lifetime type of experience for most people. Unless you learn to escape the ego and find someone else who is also willing to unlearn the conditioning and domestication that has been done to us by the world. It is a simple decision, available at any moment we decide that the suffering is no longer acceptable. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

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Fear is hell. Hell is fear. Love is heaven. Heaven is love.

Hell is not to be feared. To fear is to make hell for yourself. Fear is a way of seeing, a system of thought, but not a reality. If you can learn to live without fear, you will never experience hell. How does one learn to live without fear?

The short answer, by recognizing your identity as love. The life force in you, the positive energy, your entire worth flows from your love. Love flows from within. More than this, it is what you are—the force of life itself.

Can love be threatened or defeated? No, only decided against. Love is in the realm of spirit. It is not a thing you can touch or see. It is in the non-physical dimension of non-matter. Attention can be withdrawn from it, a judgment can be made against it, but it can never be attacked and is eternally there. Waiting.

You, therefore, as love, are eternal and safe. In this knowledge, there is nothing to fear. Reality becomes heaven now, in this life and beyond.

It is all about how we see, and with what kind of vision. If we look upon the sick, fearful images and stories of the world—the one violently thrust upon us through every corrupt institution that exists—then we experience hell now. Why? Because it is all designed to cause fear and the feeling of fear is hell.

If we, instead, withdraw all attention from fear by recognizing its fundamental unreality, we instantly shift to heaven now and always. The way is not hard, but it is very different. A spiritual practice is required, but total success is inevitable for anyone who wants it.

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How to achieve honesty in a relationship?

Yesterday, a friend told me that she is afraid of getting bored in a relationship—ending up being just two strangers living next to each other without emotions. Worse yet, she strongly dislikes dishonesty. She also says that losing trust is what scares her the most and left me with a few questions:


How can you preserve trust?

As I have said and written about repeatedly, you can only trust your partner if you have first offered unconditional love. The mind finds this statement ironic and confusing.  How can I offer unconditional love / acceptance in a situation where, for example, I have been deceived?

Turn this around. What is the cause of deceit? Do we not lie, deceive, or cheat to avoid rules, expectations, and the negative consequence of speaking or living our truth? Would anyone have a reason to deceive if unconditional acceptance and the possibility for total openness was first made real?

It might take some time to create such a relationship—time to know with any degree of certainty that you will not be punished for your truth, some practice learning to tell and live your truth lovingly and sensitively, and you may need to work through any emotions that do exist. But this is what a relationship is and it is fun—particularly if you start from the very beginning, before there is so much codependence and attachment. If there is true love, you can always find a way to love the person truly and to accept exactly who he or she honestly is.

Offer your partner the possibility of unconditional love right from the start and always. Make no rules and set no expectations about anything. When something is said, done, or wanted that causes an emotional challenge, talk openly about it. Give your partner a chance to show he or she loves you, to explain things fully, to help you understand and feel understood. Love will melt away any negative emotions. In the end, you will grow closer. One day, the trust will be so great that you no longer need to go through this process.


Is it possible to regain trust once it has broken?

If there is love, then yes. You can use this same approach. Reveal all your feelings about the situation, reveal how much it hurts, and repeat that there is never a reason to deceive. You want to know what’s going on and will not punish. You want to accept everything. You just want to know the truth. You want the opportunity to love the person for who he or she truly is.

Unconditional love does not mean that you are stuck with an abuser. That would be a condition. It is possible to love the truth about someone, to love their heart and soul, but also come to the recognition that you are not loved in return or that living together isn’t healthy. Unconditional love means that you do not attach your love to a set of rules or conditions and then withdraw love and affection when they are not met. That isn’t love; rather, an arrangement.

The conditional relationship also leads to my friend’s first concern: feeling isolated and bored. This happens when you are forced to hide who you are, or when you force your partner to do the same.

Creating a relationship based on love requires that you drop your pride and humble yourself. Your partner’s needs, habits, and perspectives are not an attack on you. It is about him or here. At the same time, humbling yourself does not mean that you ignore your needs.

By offering unconditional love, which can only happen after you learn self-love, you must also offer yourself the possibility of perfect honesty, openness, and acceptance. If your partner is not interested in unconditional love, acceptance, and openness, then you can be honest anyway and let the relationship run its natural course. Either you are loved for who you are, or you are not loved. Have patience, learn this dance together, and you will create the most beautiful, eternal relationship.

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The miracle is love, and it cures all sickness

Millions of people in the world identify as “spiritual”. But only a tiny percentage of us say that we are fully awakened, that we have died to the world, have transcended ego, or that we have experienced salvation. Many are spiritual seekers, but then claim it is impossible to be completely free from the ego’s grip.

There is a reason why people find me annoying—why very few people care at all about this post or the 679 preceding it. Rather than seeking approval, I say clearly and openly that I have completely destroyed my ego. My full faith is in God’s love as the answer to every challenge. My real life is such that I do not experience suffering, crisis, or arguments in my close relationships. It is also annoying to people when I share the good news that I used to be ill all the time, then I awakened 6 years ago and no longer get sick.

The ego retains control over people by convincing them that sickness is real, sacrifice is virtue, suffering is inevitable, that people cannot be trusted, that fear is natural, anger and attack is sometimes justified, jealousy and possessiveness is love, and so on. Remember, the ego’s mantra is “seek but do not find”. A person who has shattered the ego is largely left alone in a miserable world run by ego. We try to share the good news, but ego cannot listen because that would spell its death and your joy.

There are no degrees to salvation. You can’t be “a little more spiritual” or have “less of a problem with ego”. You are either in the egoic state of existence or you are spiritually conscious. You are either led by fear (and all the negative emotions that flow from it) or love. You cannot serve two masters and cannot find any degree of sanity within two thought systems—one sane and the other insane, one real and the other unreal. Retain any illusions and the eternal promises of spiritual awakening remain only theory for you (not your reality).

When I say that I am spiritually awake, I am not claiming to be perfect. When I err, which happens frequently, I can unemotionally observe the error and undo it. If the ego re-emerges—perhaps through an occasional attack thought here or there—then I (the real me, as consciousness) can observe it, disidentify from it, let it go, correct any damage that has been done, and re-align with the thought system and energy of love.

The world is sick, and all sickness is of the ego. The ego puts stress on the body, drains us of vital energy, and weakens our immune systems until we fall ill. How do I know this is true? By testing out egoless existence and experiencing perfect health, myself. Since I first heard of COVID-19, almost a year ago now, I remembered this quote from A Course in Miracles and knew that it was not real. I knew that a spiritually awakened individual cannot catch it and certainly cannot die from it. We are immune.

“It must be true the miracle can heal all forms of sickness, or it cannot heal. Its purpose cannot be to judge which forms are real, and which appearances are true.” -A Course in Miracles

Those who convince us of the reality of COVID, who force us into submission through mandatory masks, social distancing, and vaccines, who tell us a more dangerous strain is on the horizon—these are the dark forces of ego. The ego is the conditioned mind. The world domesticates and indoctrinates us, and it happens from birth. Spiritual awakening means completely transcending the ego in yourself and ignoring it in the world. The news media is an illusion, as is politics. The healthcare system causes illness far more than it cures. Every centralized institution is a giant ego that attacks us. All of this is untrue. False. Illusion. It only has meaning if we give it meaning.

This is salvation. There are many paths, many different teachings and faiths, and various words pointing to this same thing, but it really is this simple. Do not try to understand this with the mind. Open the mind and heart. Read / listen to the beautiful books of self-evident truth and wisdom. Suspend disbelief. Put it into practice. Find out for yourself what joy, happiness, love, perfect safety, and the absence of suffering feels like. Go all the way or don’t bother at all.

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Posted by Abscondo

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What should I do about cheating and my feelings of jealousy?

No matter what is going on in the world, the most popular topic on this blog is sex. While I have written proportionately little about sex, the topic of sex is what people are searching for. When people contact me, it is usually with questions about their romantic relationship and, more specifically, about jealousy and sex.

My position on jealousy, cheating, monogamy and sex is always the same, without exception, and it is completely clear. It is a position that is in full alignment with all the spiritual lessons being taught here—including lessons of acceptance, openness, wanting only truth, and enjoying life.

There are no exceptions to unconditional love. As A Course in Miracles states, “There are no exceptions to the lesson, because the lack of exceptions is the lesson.” Can a love relationship be perfect, complete, and unconditional if there are conditions placed upon it? No.

People ask, “what about in the case of cheating?” To that, I answer: if there has been cheating, then there must have been an arrangement where the total truth, full openness, and acceptance of each other has been made impossible. This undoing of love is typically done through rules. Rules are typically backed by threats.

In a normal relationship based upon rules and expectations, the feeling of closeness is impossible because a part of you is rejected. Now the feeling of love is eroded, resentment ensues, a strong need for unconditional love remains. So the desire to cheat becomes very real. Even when there is no cheating, to impose a boundary on a partner means that you can no longer be sure what your partner is thinking, wanting, feeling, or doing. This hurts.

A holy relationship is between two spiritually awakened individuals united by unconditional love. Here there are no rules. In love, all feelings can be accepted and shared openly. All challenges can be solved. All needs can be met. No demands are ever placed upon the other. Nothing needs to be hidden, and you can both be free.

“What about sex with other people?” If your partner has a real need, and you claim to love this person, you must love the whole person. This must go both ways. What you may find is that, in a holy relationship, the burning need for someone new is greatly diminished. No other person can provide what you already have. If there is still some need remaining, some strong curiosity or passion for something, then it can be approached in the spirit of fun—because you both know that your love is eternal and no other person is going to threaten your perfect relationship.

This is not how the world does relationships. This is why the vast majority of relationships in the world are miserable, why people lie and cheat, and why parents separate. The approach I am describing is not a matter of opinion. I am describing the unchangeable reality of romantic relationships and marriages. You can ignore it, but the result will be suffering and crisis. The purpose of all the pain we go through in relationships is to teach us the lesson about this unchangeable truth.

669b

Posted by Abscondo

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Punishment makes honesty impossible

Imagine a relationship or marriage in which you could be perfectly honest and open about everything. Imagine if your partner, children, family, and friends could do the same with you. I enjoy exactly this kind of relationship with my partner and children. It is bliss. I would describe it as comfort without disruption. No conflict. Closeness. Freedom. Love that never fades.

This type of relationship is only possible through a mutual commitment to unconditional acceptance (unconditional love). There can sometimes be feelings to work through. But there can never be any judging, blaming, shaming, or making anyone wrong. We love one another, so that must mean we love the whole truth about who we are.

Today, the world is devoid of honesty. Not just in relationships and families, but in politics, business—in all institutions and through every aspect of life. Everyone is afraid of being shut down, cut out, shamed, or brutally punished. It is a culture of violence where we are made to feel that something is always wrong with us. We nervously hold our breath as we struggle to hide everything. We hide from society and from each other. We even try to hide our honest thoughts, feelings, and desires from ourselves.

Dishonesty is the sickness which has cast such a dark spell over the world, but it is the effect of punishment. Punishment is the cause. The healing of the world is only possible through honesty and openness. To achieve this, we need to start with the full truth about everything. From that point forward, there can be no punishment but there can also be no secrecy. Criminal behavior, or any form of corruption and secrecy, is never justified and must be corrected through loving intervention rather than punishment.

There are those who lack the light of love and honesty. In the new, awakened world, they can be forcefully rehabilitated through the thought system and energy of love. Love’s healing is inevitable and self-evident because love contains within it everything that each of us want. When the reality of love, honesty, truth, and beauty is experienced—when we are fully accepted and forgiven—then we are reborn. This is salvation, which is only possible when we do away with punishment. Forgiveness.

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Abscondo Podcast #91: What happens after the Great Awakening?

With all this talk of the Great Awakening, the threat of COVID and the Great Reset, election fraud, Sidney Powell, Rudy Giuliani, Trump, MAGA, MEGA, and so on...I wanted to offer the perspective of a person who has gone through his own Great Awakening almost 20 years ago. What is life like? What comes next? What other steps are required for happiness?

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