Posts categorized "Happiness"

On setting rules & boundaries

Setting a rule or making anything taboo is asking another person to lie to you. Do you value knowing or not knowing? If you value knowing, then don't make knowing impossible by setting limits on truth.

In all areas of life, it is the lack of both honesty and unconditional acceptance that causes suffering. You cannot claim to want the truth and not choose unconditional acceptance--which is simply a decision for truth everywhere.

Lies will suffocate any relationship; causing mistrust, resentment, distance and loneliness. Being limited by someone else's demands—because you are afraid of what might happen, or because you want to protect someone else's feelings—also feels lousy and is completely unnecessary. 

There is nothing wrong with you and, therefore, there is nothing wrong with telling your truth and living it. Same goes for your loved ones. If you love them, let them be who they are.

When there is perfect honesty combined with love, all issues can be dealt with and worked through. As you truly communicate, that blissful, energetic feeling of love will be kept alive. You will be blessed with an open heart and mind. Youthful energy will flow through you at any age. If this is what you want, unconditional love is the only way.

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Relationships without rules are filled with a bliss that can continue as long as perfect honesty also continues.


What you believe to be true will be true for you

Believe anything negative is real—or that anything terrible is going to happen—and it will be so. Fearful thoughts manifest exactly that which you fear. While it sounds easy to change your thoughts, there is only one way to control fearful or negative thoughts.  

What about belief in a positive vision—believing that you will get what you want? While this works the same way (whatever you believe will come true), again, there is only one way to succeed at this.

Anything is possible in your life so long as it is not sacrificed, compromised, or negotiated away—but it is only possible after humbling yourself to that which is beyond negotiation, that which is eternally true.

There is only one way to end fear and negativity, only one way to align all thought and behavior with the positive, only one way to manifest lasting joy, abundance, bliss, peace, and safety. The way is through perfect love combined with perfect truth.

You can live life to the fullest—but only through a total commitment to unconditional love combined with a decision to always tell the truth, no matter what—and to always want the truth, no matter what. To do this is to spiritually awaken and to end the problems of your life and of this world.

Love and truth are never optional or negotiable. Believe otherwise and become lost in the insanity and endless errors of the ego. Love is as it is and cannot be defined according to your preferences. Nothing can be gained by manipulating or rejecting the truth about anything. All failure, suffering, and crisis come from getting this wrong.

A Course in Miracles correctly teaches that “sin is where love is not.” Where there is anything less than perfect honesty and truth, there is no love. Where there is lack of forgiveness or acceptance, there is no love. Where there is an attempt to get rather than to give, there is no love. Where there is attack in any form, there is no love.

Love is the one non-negotiable, the only solution to any challenge and the correct response to any situation. Learn what perfect love is, live it fully, and everything else in life is yours. 

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You think that, by filtering what you do and say so that it is socially acceptable, you are gaining relationships and your life is going more smoothly. But by limiting your telling of the truth, you are limiting the life you were meant to live and teaching dishonesty.

You are hired for a job to play a fake role and to tell the company's lies. Then, you may come home to a relationship or family situation where telling the truth is not entirely tolerated either.

If that isn't bad enough, friends lie to you all the time about their own lives on social media or in person. During an average day, exactly when and where do you feel free to tell your unfiltered truths?

Because of all the dishonesty, you are suffering. You are sacrificing everything you want. You feel empty inside, you feel cut off and isolated, depressed at times, and for what?

What is all this sacrifice of truth for? To teach everyone an untrue version of reality? To teach them the path of misery and crisis? Is this helpful, in any way, to anyone? 


Why do we suffer?

Pain, illness, and all forms of suffering are nature’s responses to any rejection of reality and truth. The purpose of suffering is to force us to correct course so that we accept what is, always forgive, and surrender to love as the only correct response to anything and everything.

Learn only that reality is reality (which requires a daily spiritual practice of brief study and meditation) and your problems are removed as your suffering ends. For thousands of years, with but few exceptions, humans have been trying everything but this. Only this has never been tried on a large scale and only this is the answer to all our problems.

Resist the lesson by responding to suffering in any other way, and problems will escalate, suffering will increase, and further crisis is on the way. Crisis is simply what happens when our thinking and doing is not aligned with reality. This can be called error. The longer we fail to correct course, things can only get worse.

Spiritual awakening is not some sort of wacky personal preference nor a false idol or identity. Spirituality is not some sort of magic. It is the full embrace of the only solution, the humble acceptance of reality, the knowing that all wisdom and truth is found only within the thought system and energy of perfect, unconditional love.

Anything else but this always has, and always will fail. Whether you want to change your life or change the world, the answer is the same. A person aligned with lasting joy cannot become ill. A society governed by the values of love cannot contain violence. A family based on unconditional love cannot break. A business based on love for customers cannot fail. And so on.

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If it is not direct communication, then I don’t understand anything

Some people expect others to understand them even without directly communicating what they are trying to say. They use gestures and facial expressions instead of words. They verbally attack verbally, or withhold response, cut communication, withhold intimacy, or pout—expecting others to wonder why, to care, and to guess correctly about the message being sent and responding accordingly.

Childish communication communicates nothing at all. If you want to be understood, say it. Explain how you feel. Reveal your true self through your deepest honesty. If your tone is sensitive and loving, others will respond with more patience, love, and understanding. Direct communication isn’t going to hurt!

Of course, those who avoid direct communication are not really trying to be understood. They are resisting true human connection for the purpose of protecting the ego.

Thankfully, there is a new kind of human being emerging. Through directness, openness, and a total commitment to honesty, we so easily live our truth—replacing confusion with perfect knowledge, isolation with union, fear with love, lack with abundance.

This is only possible after a decision to shatter the ego, to transcend it, to laugh at its destruction and place all faith in what is real, true, and honest.

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You are not a victim

The ego builds itself up through the victim identity. According to the ego, the problem is always someone else—external circumstances. Nothing can be done about it. You are helpless. To question is way of thinking is easily dismissed as “blaming the victim.”

In this egoic world, friendship is often based on the goal of building up the victim identity. We complain. We rush to friends to share bad news. We look for sympathy...confirmation that, yes, we are indeed victims. It’s no fair and it’s all someone else’s fault. Friendship requires that we agree and never offer any insight into the situation. The world's version of friendship is devoid of love and cruel because it perpetuates a cycle of suffering.

The truth is that, in any situation, all that matters is internal—within our control. What we choose. How we react. How we learn and grow. How we forgive. How we bring light and love into the situation. That’s all we have control over.

Rather than playing the victim, we can choose to have an honest, heartfelt conversation. We can take responsibility for not bringing enough value to others in a situation. We can look at our errors—our poor choices or self-centered behavior. We can stop trying to use others for self-gratification. We can look inward, ask real questions, and correct ourselves. We can humble ourselves and take responsibility.

As I explain in the free eBook “The Switch”, all suffering and crisis is a result of dishonesty—a not wanting to openly speak or know the truth about things. To the extent that we are dishonest with ourselves and others, we suffer. If the situation is not corrected, there is an outcome that we call a crisis. It’s a law of reality.

In any situation, there is a truth. A reality. You are part of that reality—merged with it. How can any truth about any situation make you a victim? Truth can only destroy that which is false—and only ego is home of falseness. Ego only confuses us about reality.

Let ego go and watch your problems dissolve. See how you will never be a victim again. You will never complain. You will only look at and deal with reality, which is always joyful, loving, and absent of fear.

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What is it like to be honest about everything?

Imagine going through life in such a way that you are never exactly honest about anything. In everything you do and say, the question is never about what's true; rather, about what you are supposed to say, how you are supposed to feel, and what you are supposed to want (all according to the opinions and expectations of others).

The underlying principle here is this: I'm faking, I'm hiding, I'm lying about everything, and I expect everyone else to do the same. We all know what is going on here, but by calling it "normal" and pretending there is no alternative to a life of faking, we go on.

As we do go on faking, we accumulate such a heavy and impossible burden; to the extent that we bury ourselves and forget entirely who we are.

I am telling you that another life is possible: your life, staring you, with truth and honesty as your guide. Yes, you can be honest with everyone, even in business, even in romance, even with your family. As you do, a miracle happens: all that you do not want disappears, and each breath of your life is filled with everything you've always wanted.

To understand this fully and have enough faith that what's real is reality is to awaken to a new life. 

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Don't take it personally

One of Don Miguel Ruiz’ 4 Agreements for life is this: don’t take anything personally. After applying this principal to my life, I found out that other people’s thoughts or opinions have nothing to do with me and, therefore, no longer touch me in any real way.

Even if there is an opinion or judgment directed straight at me, I only consider it valid if I agree that it is true. If it is true, then what is there to get upset about? I can be honest and deal with it. If it is untrue, then there is also nothing to get upset about because I cannot be diminished by a perception that isn’t true.

Furthermore, I don’t need anyone’s blessing to state my truth, to experience my life the way that I do, to choose my own  preferences, tastes, or anything else. I do not require anyone to understand what it feels like to carry the burdens of a middle-aged white man, nor do I need them to agree with my politics, choice of profession, spirituality or anything else.

Nobody holds me back from being me, and the same is true for each of us. The Tao Te Ching says, “Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.” (verse 9)

If something that someone else says or does bothers you, then perhaps the real problem is that it bothers you. The solution is not found in the fight to change everyone else; rather, to go within, discover the true self, learn self-love, and embody all truth and freedom without asking anyone’s permission.

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When happens when you combine perfect love with perfect truth?

Though it is taught using many different words and concepts, there is only one way to end fear and negativity. Only one way to align all thought and behavior with the positive. Only one way to manifest lasting joy, abundance, bliss, peace, and safety. The way is through perfect love combined with perfect truth.

You can experience all your wildest fantasies, live life to the fullest—but only through a total commitment to unconditional love always combined with a decision to always tell the truth, no matter what, and always want the truth, no matter what. To do this is to spiritually awaken and to end the problems of your life and of this world.

Love and truth are never negotiable. Believe otherwise and become lost in the insanity and endless errors of the ego. Love cannot be defined according to your preferences, and nothing can be gained by manipulating or rejecting the truth about anything. All failure, suffering, and crisis are rooted in this error.

A Course in Miracles correctly teaches that “sin is where love is not.” Where there is anything less than perfect honesty and truth, there is no love. Where there is lack of forgiveness or acceptance, there is no love. Where there is an attempt to get rather than to give, there is no love. Where there is attack in any form, there is no love.

Love is the one non-negotiable, the only solution to any challenge and the correct response to any situation. Learn what perfect love is, live it fully, and everything else in life is yours. Just do it; but do it in love. 

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