Use honesty, never attack
We attack because we believe it works and because we feel justified. We use words or actions meant to be harsh or hurtful to teach a lesson or change someone’s behavior.
Does attack ever work? In the short term, it can sometimes appear to. You may get the desired behavior from a friend, loved one, or subordinate. A child may comply. But, beneath the surface, you have only taught that you are violent. You have created fear and, because you are now feared, have ended trust and closeness in the relationship. You will lose influence over the situation because the real lesson will not be understood and, going forward, you will be avoided.
If you feel the need to try to correct someone, why not calmly, lovingly, honestly discuss your concern? Help a child understand their errors and likely consequences. Share your feelings with a friend or loved one. Help a subordinate understand the expectations of the relationship. If you are right about something, the loving and honest approach is the way to actually correct error.
Correction isn’t about causing someone to be afraid of you or the painful consequences you will impose. True change is only possible through a mutual understanding of reality. Speak truthfully to help others see the truth of the situation. Listen openly and with acceptance of others. In doing so, you both dissolve problems without conflict and teach that the loving response is always the correct response to any challenge.
The truth of any situation is found only in love and honesty. Attack wields literally no lasting power. Attack does not fix the problem; it is the problem. The loving response is always the correct response, and I assure you that, aligned with love, relationships are extremely easy.