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What are the Top 5 beliefs that make true love impossible?

I believe every person has access to perfect love. Relationship problems result from learned errors. Here are the Top 5 beliefs and thought patters that block love and cause relationship problems:


1) Belief in guilt.

As innocent children born into an unwell world, we have been taught to feel ashamed of ourselves. The natural process of learning and growing requires that we make mistakes along the way. Rather than being encouraged to look honestly at errors, consider the consequences of our actions, and unemotionally making adjustments—most of the people in our lives make us guilty, shame us, and tell us we are no good. When we believe this about ourselves, we begin to loathe ourselves. When we loathe ourselves, it becomes impossible to love ourselves or anyone else.

Know that you are not guilty, and neither is anyone else. We have all made mistakes and have acted in ways that does not honor reality. Errors can be corrected, but only if looked upon lovingly, honestly, and without judgment. Simply notice how your words and actions made you feel. How did it make others feel? What was the result of your deeds? Is this what you want or is there a better way? Think about it, talk about it, and experiment until you get it right.

2) Belief in attacking to teach a lesson.

This is closely related to belief 1. The thought system of the world is to judge others and then to respond with reward or punishment as a mechanism of control. This is a violent, manipulative way to get others to obey us without consent. This is one form of attack. Other forms include violence, arguing, insulting, etc.

The problem with belief in attack is that it leads to rebellion, resentment, and teaches us to react in fear rather than in common sense and wisdom. The other problem is that it is impossible to feel love within the thought system of attack or a relationship based on attack (because it is violent).  

3) That there is ever a good reason to withhold honesty.

Another common blockage to our ability to love is that we are afraid to be honest and we are afraid of the truth. When we restrict honesty, we are restricting the free flow of communication. Yet, it is through open communication that love flourishes. Loving yourself is about knowing yourself and being honest with yourself about you. Loving another is just the same. Withhold or prevent honesty and you destroy love.

Practicing honesty requires a willingness for both parties to accept. There can be no judgment, no making wrong, and no attack as a response to honesty or honesty will be impossible in that relationship. What we are talking about here is unconditional love. Any love that is conditional is not love; rather, an arrangement.

4) Believing that you get love from another person.

Most people want to be loved by another person, but lasting love from another is impossible unless we first learn to love ourselves. This, of course, has become a cliché (yet, even so, it is rarely understood or practiced).

Spend some quiet time with yourself and think deeply about the ideas in this post. Remember that you are innocent, that you are good, that any shame or guilt you feel has restricted you from love—yet, at your core, you are love.

This is the process of unblocking yourself that we are talking about, and it is a necessary step before we can experience perfect love with another person.

5) Faith in time.

Most people seek love by waiting for circumstances to change, for someone to finally apologize for this or to do that. Others are waiting to meet the “right person”. But waiting is not seeking. Infinite possibilities for love exist right here, right now—and the present moment is the only dimension of reality that has ever existed.

Love yourself perfectly now. Love those in your life perfectly now. Greet new people with perfect love as well. This is how you transform your life into one that is filled with perfect love everywhere. Everyone meant for you will fit exactly where they were meant to fit. But it happens now, not in the future.

Posted by Abscondo

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