Your function is not little; and it is only by finding your function and fulfilling it that you can escape from littleness. (A Course in Miracles)
Stop trying to control. Let go of fixed plans and concepts, and the world will govern itself. (Tao Te Ching, 57)

The ego cannot love

They say a perfect relationship does not exist. This is true for people who would choose ego over love. A perfect relationship is, very simply, one made between two people who have decided against ego and in favor of love.

The ego does not know what love is and possesses no qualities capable of responding to it. The ego response to perfect love is either to run from it or to distort it by turning it into what it understands. To greet love with a set of rules, expectations, judgments and conditions is to decide against mutual bliss in favor of mutual suffering. This is what the world calls a normal, successful relationship. To justify this insanity, we are asked to believe that there is no alternative.

They say that perfect love cannot last, but I assure you that it can and does—not only as a lifelong commitment of partnership, but as an ongoing feeling of perfect bliss. This, the holy relationship, demands of you what the ego cannot do. It is, therefore, only the ego that must be sacrificed…and this is no sacrifice at all because it is only the letting go of everything you do not want.

When you have purified yourself from ego, and the holy relationship is established, then you are accepted unconditionally, you are entirely free, and always open and honest about everything. Can you accept everything about who your partner is and even might do? Everything? If not, you are putting your faith somewhere other than in your love. Unconditional acceptance and total openness is the requirement for love, and is precisely what the ego cannot do.

When I speak of this type of relationship; people always respond, “That isn’t for me.” What this response means is, “I value my false identity as ego more than my true identity as love.” But nobody is going to take away your right to reject love and choose suffering. It is your choice.

Make the need for control real, make attack real, make any rules and conditions real and you instantly banish love at the sad altar of ego. This is the recipe for failure in love because…well…because the ego cannot love. 

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Posted by Abscondo

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