The weather is either nice or lousy. It was a good day or a hard day. It’s too hot or too cold. There’s good news or bad news. This way of thinking leads to so much frustration and suffering.

When something is judged as bad, the story in the head is that you can’t be happy until the bad goes away. But that might take some time. If something is judged as good, that means you can only be happy if you might somehow cling to it and make it last. But no situation can last. Here you are either up or down. No lasting happiness is ever found in judging the good or bad.

There is a superior thought system—one of acceptance. If something is, then it is so and cannot be argued. There can be no judgment about the weather, only an embrace of it and a willingness to see beauty in its reality. Whatever is happening in your life, it is supposed to be happening. You are always being cleansed of the false to make room for the true.

The ups and downs can only happen because we cling to the false. The false is anything that is going to change—anything unstable. Everything in the dimension of external form is constantly changing. Every situation is always changing. The weather is always changing. It is not eternal, so it is not true in the ultimate sense.

What is true is found in the dimension of stillness. We are calm, joyful, and at the center of the wheel when we are attached to nothing and are rooted in truth—truth about the universe, truth about ourselves and how we feel, truth about a situation, truth about the nature of reality and life. Here is found the peace of God—the good with no opposite.

When the government tries to help some, unhealthy dependencies are created. When it ignores others, victim identity takes hold. No external authority can do what we must do for ourselves.

The real authorities are not representatives of any government or institution. These so-called authorities are merely creators of challenges, perpetuators of misery, and obstacles to happiness and freedom. We must—upon our own authority—overcome these obstacles.

We are the authorities. We are divine beings connected through the one consciousness. Herein lies all truth, beauty and power. No matter the threats and limitations which are thrusted upon us by systems of violence, nothing can take away our ability to think freely, to speak the truth, and to do as we choose so long as it is loving.

Love trumps false authority. Love sets us free. Perfect honesty trumps propaganda. Deep human connections are beyond external interference. Self-love is unstoppable. No authority lies in the external world. This is the dimension of problems and challenges; not power. All power is wholly alive within.

This message is literal, not theoretical. You want something to change in your life? Make it happen. Prosperity comes from serving and creating value for others. Safety comes from extending only love and never violence or attack. Happiness comes from disidentification from ego. Health comes from eliminating fear and stress. A true spiritual practice of purification and healing is required for any of this to become your reality.

No institution of external authority is going to do a damn thing to help you with anything. All authority to change anything lies within—but only by successfully transcending ego to identify as consciousness.

The purpose of a rule is not to prevent you from doing wrong; this could be done more effectively. The purpose is to teach that you are bad and guilty—that something is inherently wrong with you.

Because it is untrue, this idea of guilt requires extensive teaching. That’s what the church, the media, and school is for. Learn the lesson that people are bad and, more importantly, that we need authority to keep us in check.

Authority, of course, does not limit itself by the very rules it makes. Authority defines itself as supreme. Unlike the rest of us, the government does harm, kill, threaten, rob, and print money to enrich themselves and so on. It is centralized authority that is to be feared, not people.

Would you do harm? Do you need rules to protect others from your evil nature? What if everyone was taught meditation, present moment awareness, spiritual principles and the thought system of love? What if the error of violence was corrected through love and not punishment?

Imagine a decentralized government whose job is only to help people and correct error with love. If any violence remained in such a society, a dangerous person could be isolated—but under the conditions of help, not punishment. If anyone were to steal or attack, the entire community could come together to help the person understand the error, to provide the love that was obviously lacking, to forgive and to heal.

In our natural state, we want to feel safe, free, and to be loved and accepted. We want to play, to have fun, and to feel good. We do not need rules at all, and certainly not the punishments and rewards and ongoing fear that follows. Let us look clearly at what we have been taught not to question so that we may expose this massive lie for what it is.

To love yourself is to see only that part of you which is lovable. When this is done, self-love is felt. In the presence of self-love; somehow the fear, the shame, and the guilt all melt away. Absent of the stress from these negative emotions, the mind and body begin to function optimally. This is healing.

When you are healed, you can then look upon every other person to see each of them in this same way. All that which is lovable in you is also true in them. Only love is lovable, and love is the same in each of us because it is one. There is no person absent of love within—though, through shame and guilt and punishment, people have become blocked to various degrees.

Forgiveness is the act of seeing only that part in a person which is lovable. All the rest is error, it is unreal, and it can easily be undone just by letting love melt it away. In the end, it is as though all that negative garbage was never real—for the simple reason that it never was.

Whenever you feel the urge to force others to agree with you, to argue and debate, or defend a mental position; you can be sure that this is your ego taking over. The ego is your fictitious self, which derives its so-called existence through its associations with various positions. When the ego’s sacred positions are contradicted or threatened, its impulse is to defend them as though its life is being threatened. Because of our egos, people have violent arguments over the most ridiculous things. 

Everyone holds mental positions, beliefs, a cultural identity, a set of stories about past and future, about relationships or experiences and so much more—that’s just what the mind does. But the mind’s positions need no defense. That which is true is self-evident the moment it is articulated. If someone doesn’t share a position, who cares? Why get worked up over it? Is there any power in convincing people they are wrong? 

In a world where everybody is violently defending their positions, has any debate ever solved anything? When two people argue, they cause negative emotions and cling even more tightly to their opposing positions.

You are not your mental positions. Your identity, as the observer of your mind, lies in the still dimension of consciousness. A spiritually awakened person is one who remains detached from mental positions. Just express yourself fully and allow it to be. 

With practice, it becomes possible to communicate in a language that is beyond debate. Until that happens, it is enough to practice non-response. When you are challenged or contradicted, you can allow the other person to speak, try to understand their position, and allow it to be. If forced to respond, you might say “could be” or “is that so?” If pushed further, simply state, without sarcasm, that you don’t enjoy debating and have no need to convince them of anything.

All power flows from consciousness, which is spirit, which is love, which is truth, which is beauty, which is inspiration, which is the force of life doing what it does. Mental positions are dead constructs blocking the flow of life. By undoing the supposed significance of our rigid mental positions, and teaching others to do the same, you unleash the true power from within yourself and others. This is part of the healing process.

Your power is love and it is what you are. This power cannot be lost, but it can be forgotten. Love is the only force that the world cannot resist, cannot contain, and cannot successfully war against. When your thoughts and deeds are loving, you channel unstoppable power and strength. 

The ego would convince you to sacrifice perfect love to gain the world. But like everything the ego sets out to do, this cannot be done. There is nothing of any real value that can be gained from the world. All truth, beauty and value is nothing other than consciousness coming into the world of form. Love is the feeling, the energy, the doing of consciousness.

You cannot sell your soul, but you can forget it–choosing instead a state of suffering, failure, overwhelming anxiety and fear. This is the feeling of a forgotten soul begging to be remembered.

Remember what you are each day and know that it is infinitely more powerful than anything of this world. Unconditional love is so powerful that no one can stop you from practicing it. All authority lies in your truth. 

It’s become so cliché to talk about self-love. Is it really true that learning to love yourself is necessary if you want to experience a healthy relationship with someone else? To answer this question, we need to understand the problems that arise when self-love is lacking.

We are born as innocent children filled with perfect love. Then we are indoctrinated into a thought system that tells us we need to “be good” to get love. Even in a so-called normal, healthy childhood, love is withheld from children as a punishment when they don’t behave as parents and teachers command. Likewise, loving gestures are sometimes showered upon us as a reward when we do. The world’s lesson all throughout life is this: love is something you get from another person when you behave in such a way that you are “worthy” of it. This is how we are indoctrinated, controlled, domesticated.

We have learned to think about love in such a way that all the focus is on getting it and little attention is paid to what love is and what love does. We are taught to believe that we are guilty sinners, screw-ups, not attractive enough, too young, too old, too poor, too this or too that. In the world’s ongoing competition of egos—this never-ending game of who’s right and who’s better—we learn to really loath ourselves by believing the stories others tell us about ourselves and also the insane stories we tell ourselves.

Now imagine you start a relationship with this thought system. In this kind of relationship, you withhold your true self and expect to be rewarded with love. When this invariably fails, you feel disappointed and resentful. Feeling trapped in a relationship is caused by changing yourself for the purpose of getting love.

Now, realize that both you and your partner are behaving in the same way—saying and doing that which isn’t exactly honest and expecting love in return. After so much sacrifice, you both naturally expect grand gestures and rewards. You expect to feel loved when all you really feel is an addiction to the person who also sacrifices so much for you and occasionally does things right. But the arrangement doesn’t really work. That perfect love you felt in the beginning of the relationship fades. So, you blame the other person and argue relentlessly.

If the feeling of perfect love is lacking, it is never the other person’s fault. The problem is, you’re looking for love from the other person. First, you must look within. Awakening to self-love means forgiving yourself—seeing yourself as not guilty and accepting yourself as you are. There is goodness and perfection within you. There is limitless love within you that you would so happily share with others if they were only open. You have loved many people so perfectly in your life and this is who you are. Those times which you did or said something not loving—yes, it was an error. This is what we are correcting. Purification is needed if we wish to heal, and self-love is purification.

Spend some time lying down in a room without any noise or distractions. Try to find that feeling of love in your heart. Imagine yourself as that perfect, innocent child who knew exactly what love is. Forgive yourself for all that other garbage. None of it is real. What is real is that love in your heart. Now, the details about you and your life don't matter. You can be honest and open about who you really are and what you truly want without shame. If someone judges you, that person simply isn't a fit. Love them anyway, let them respond how they may. No matter who you are, you have the right to be you and you can do so honestly.

Naturally, you want to share this joyful bliss with another person. You want that person to love you, to accept the real you—to love you so much that you don’t even have to work for it. Self-love doesn’t mean not needing another person. Love must be shared. That’s what love is and what it does. But it can only be shared when you extend it from within and outward to others. Your goal is to feel your perfect love fill your body with its energy—turn perfect love on yourself—then let it flow freely to anyone and everyone with no consideration or judgment. Withholding love from yourself or from anyone is being blocked. Healing is unblocking yourself and healing is total or it isn't healing. No more pain and suffering. No more physical illness. No more fear. Perfect love and honesty overcome every challenge.

Now, if you can find another person who also remembers what love is and knows how to live in such a way that it is unblocked; you will experience heaven. You will find yourself in a situation where you can be exactly who you are. You can love that person freely as well as everyone else in the world. You allow each other freedom and place no rules upon each other. 

Love must be unconditional, indeed, or it isn’t love (only an arrangement). Are you afraid you’ll lose that person? You want the relationship to last your entire life? Of course you do! That is the most wonderful thing and everyone wants to grow old alongside the perfect partner—but the price need not be the sacrifice of everything. You can have it all!

When two people come together in perfect, self-love and offer it to each other unconditionally, then they will never part. Of course, the form of each relationship varies. If you fit perfectly, you may choose to live together. If not, you may enjoy your loving connecting from more of a distance. It is all a question of fit. What do you both want your life to be? Do you want children or not? What is your attitude about money, travel, sex, etc.? If there is a perfect fit, go for it—but make no attempt to then protect that relationship via the rules of traditional structures like marriage. If you do, the suffering will return and the perfect love will fade.

This relationship is entirely possible and very easy. I have been in such a relationship for many years and it is far superior to what is normal in this world. You can experience it as well, but you will never find relationship bliss unless you learn to first love yourself unconditionally.

Learn the thought system of love. Read my free eBook Belove or read Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. Watch my indie documentary film called Treetops. Listen to my podcast on this topic a while ago. Whatever path you choose, learn to undo fear and all the negative emotions that have been blocking your self-love. This is very real and is in no way theoretical. Self-love is what you do want and, if you decide for it, nothing can stop you from experiencing what is already yours.

We may patiently wait for some future event or situation to save us. But this kind of patience is only dreaming. Without the doing, the imagined future never comes.

Be patient, but do not wait. Nothing can be found in time. True patience is the patience of creation. If something is to be born, it must first be created! In true patience, you calmly and naturally create from inspiration. You just keep going day after day, month after month, year after year. You give your best (not more than your best, just your best). You don’t think about the outcome; rather, you enjoy the process.

When the ego creates, it is not patient. The ego gets excited by its illusions of grandeur. It sets huge goals, believes happiness is in the future, then makes great sacrifices. Through sheer willpower, you give all your energy and work as hard as you can for a short while.

Invariably, the ego has doubts, loses patience, and burns out. For every peak of inspiration, there is a deep valley that follows. You lose faith and give up. Then comes the next high. You start again—again miscreating nothing of real value, projecting image, concerned about what everyone thinks, caring only about the result not the process. This is how the ego seeks but cannot find.

Create every day from the voice of truth which is beyond thought. Truly inspired, you effortlessly create beauty, truth and value. Patience is enjoying the process of doing without the emotional ups and downs. Be patient, because ultimately you get exactly what you give—and what you are seeking is not found in time, but in creation.

Would you respond to a crying baby by shouting back, or by trying to understand the need and then fulfilling it? Likewise, the way to respond to any brother or sister in need is to look past the cry for help and focus attention on the level of needs.

Most people fear being verbally attacked or insulted, as though such a silly and embarrassing act means something real and carries some power. If you ever feel insulted by the words or actions of another person, that’s only your bruised ego. Let it be bruised and do not defend yourself; for the ego means nothing to begin with.

A mind-identified, spiritually unconscious person responds to attack by getting easily frustrated, angry, and wanting to hit back even harder. But an awakened person has permanently escaped the ego to embrace the thought system of unconditional love. Love is only concerned with giving, never feels slighted, and takes nothing personally. You are not your mind. You are love and, as love, you cannot be attacked or diminished.

Attack is always a misguided, tragic, desperate cry for love. Understand the real unfulfilled need beneath the attack, then respond with love, not violence. Whether or not you are able to ultimately fulfill the need; when a person sees that he cannot activate the madness of ego within you, he will immediately recognize his own insanity and will either walk away or shift the tone. Tempers settle, cool minds prevail, peace is restored.

Respond to any challenge only in love, seeing nothing the ego is or does as real.

Each time we choose to hide something—however seemingly small or inconsequential it may seem—we make the tragic decision to build a castle upon a foundation of sand. One hidden truth requires others, and those others still, until a web of lies and confusion eventually becomes overwhelming. This confusion is a shaky foundation that slowly causes any relationship or situation to collapse. In the end, no amount of effort can make illusions real.

The choice for perfect honesty starts by being honest with yourself. What do you need? What excites you and inspires you? Who are you and what do you want to become? What do you want to experience? If you can be honest with yourself about everything, without consideration of what others may think, then you have awakened within to honesty. Most people don’t even get this far.

But being perfectly honest also requires that you extend your truth to others. To hold back here is to spend so much energy trying to decide what to do or not and what to reveal or keep secret. Either way, you suffer. You know all that stuff about yourself that you just started to become honest about? Now if you repress it or hide it, you suffer.

To the extent that we withhold honesty, we are limited by others, controlled, repressed, and unfree. It is very normal in this world to sacrifice all that is true and real because of fear—as though something is wrong with us and we don’t fit in the world. This is the tragic game that everybody is playing. Through dishonesty, we are foolishly teaching a version of reality that isn’t real—and hiding what is real about ourselves to all those who are so thirsty for the truth and isolated in the false.

There is another way, and it can be put into practice now. When we find the self-love, the confidence, the faith and courage to first be honest with ourselves and then lovingly extend it without hesitation; then everything about our lives becomes real. Our lives can become a reflection of our wildest dreams, but only if we are perfectly honest all the time.