Eckhart Tolle continues, “There may be one person who reflects your love back to you more clearly or more intensely than others, and if that person feels the same toward you, it can be said that you are in a love relationship with that person.”
Nothing is more wonderful than finding true love. But when rules, demands or expectations enter the relationship, true love will fade. The relationship then becomes needy, dependent, egoic – proven through sacrifice and protected through exclusivity. Now the relationship becomes jealous, depressed, and dishonest as you cling to each other in duty and fear. This is how most people do relationships because most of us are never taught that there is a better way to love.
Even in an addictive, egoic relationship, there may be moments when the mind gives up control and the ego subsides. Perhaps at the start of a relationship, or while witnessing the miracle of childbirth, or perhaps making up after a terrible fight. Now the possibility arises for true communication and oneness. But if the ego has not been permanently and consciously removed from the relationship, things will quickly return to normal.
To experience an ongoing love relationship, stay present with your partner. If negative or fearful thoughts about the relationship creep in, don't follow them. Let thoughts go. Make no assumptions or judgments. Also let go of past or future. Thinking is useless in love. The mind cannot figure out love because love is the stuff of consciousness. Love can only be experienced in the absence of thought when we are vulnerable and honest.
Love is all-inclusive, limitless, and does not need to be controlled or restricted. To let go is to decide that you do not want to possess your partner or to be possessed. In a true love relationship, you may also find that neither of you has a serious need to search externally for something more. In love, nothing is lacking even as nothing is off-limits. To let go in a relationship does not mean losing someone; rather, loving someone.