You are not your thoughts. You are simply aware of your thoughts. (Michael A. Singer)
What most people call love is not love

Relationships grounded in separation will end in separation.

You meet someone. Souls unite. Life is beautiful. You are filled with passion and feel fully alive. You’re both madly in love and it feels like nothing in the world could tear you apart.

Because you want to hold onto this feeling forever, you start making rules. “Stop communicating with your ex. I don’t like how you look at her. Aren’t I enough? I don’t want to hear about that. I need to know where you are at all times.” This is not love; rather, manipulation that is based on the values of separation and enforced through the violent emotion of jealousy.

The world tells us that if we find the right person, he or she will fulfill all our needs for life. There should be no needs outside of the one relationship. Follow this relationship model and you have become a so-called “serious couple”, properly separated from the world, cut-off, and isolated.

This never works. Too many rules and restrictions limit the natural drive for freedom. People feel good when they feel free—free to express themselves completely, free to explore, free to follow inspiration and intuition.

Ignore this fact and find yourselves arguing, bickering, constantly attempting to control and to manipulate. Next come the little lies, and then eventually the big ones. All the while, you feel alone, isolated, deeply desiring some freedom. Unmet needs turn into fantasies—none of which can be fulfilled or expressed within the relationship. Now you either look outside the relationship or you simply repress it all as you turn into a typical, bickering, miserable couple.

Eventually you might decide to end it. Here again, you act according to the values of separation. You sever all contact and try to move on. Custody battles. Legal proceedings. Misery for everyone.

You meet someone new only to do the same thing with the next partner. Yet despite the painful separation, you still love each other. That original spark of love was real. What’s real is eternal and cannot be made unreal. But rather than trusting that love eternally, you chose separation all along. So much suffering caused only by this one error.

There is another option. It is called love—total union with each other, unconditionally, without exclusion.    


Posted by Abscondo

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