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October 2019

Separation is the cause of relationship misery; never the solution.

If love hurts, if heartbreak is real, it is only because of our belief in separation. “Special relationships” are meant to complete us and to give our lives meaning. Salvation, we are told, is found by possessing the perfect partner, maybe getting married, and living happily ever-after. It never works as intended.

The price for a normal relationship is the complete sacrifice of all other past, present and future relationships. Through the violent emotion of jealousy, we demand that our partners cut all ties. End communication with him, stop thinking about her. Move on. Get past your feelings, I don’t want to hear about it, am I not enough?

Eventually we feel lonely, cut-off. Now we blame the partner, we argue, we abuse. If other options are available, now comes the break-up. The run toward what feels like freedom with someone else. Now the person who once sacrificed everything for you is left with nothing—alone and lost. Nobody learns, the cycle repeats, heartbreak is everywhere.

The situation is particularly brutal when children are involved. The fight for control, custody, all the sacrifice of “starting over” by cutting ties with the past. And yet, all parties are left with the real memories, the feelings, the love, the longing, the deep hole in the soul.

You spent your lives together. You were there for each other. Now something goes wrong and you’re supposed to throw it all away? No. If something is real between you and another person, it cannot be ended. Attempts to do so only cause more suffering. This leaves us sick on the level of the soul.

Heartbreak ends when we stop seeking happiness through any form of separation. Do not demand it, do not accept it. We are all one. The soul craves union, inclusion, full acceptance and honesty. This is how we must begin and maintain all relationships with everyone.

We can enjoy life now and always by allowing our partners to feel what they do feel, to have in their lives who they do. Everything can just easily fit where it naturally fits.


Perfect love now.

Anything less than perfect love is not love. There is either love or there is not love.

In perfect love life becomes sweet, conflict-free, and blissful. Disagreements are not about who gets more of something; rather, who is giving too much.

First, you give unconditional acceptance to yourself. Then you offer your partner, your children, and everyone else the same. Eventually, you become truly free and accepted. There is nothing you could say or do that would be considered unacceptable.

The way of perfect love is led by intuition—not the mind. Intuition is the knowing that exists in the now—the only realm where anything exists, has ever existed, or ever will exist. The mind perceives, but intuition knows. Knowing comes from the you that exists beyond the mind. Connect with intuition by going into the now and finding yourself as the observer of the mind and not the thinker.

In perfect love, you already have everything you need within. Commitment to perfect love is something that happens instantly, completely, and is entirely within your control. Offer yourself this kind of perfect love and do not allow anyone to take it away from you. Then extend it to others to enjoy life right now and always.


Some suffering is necessary

Escape from the ego—the full alignment with honesty and love—is the end of unnecessary suffering. Still, some necessary suffering occasionally arises.

Life brings challenges. You lose someone. Your income falls short. You hurt someone. You are disrespected and forced to stand up for yourself.

The situation feels overwhelming, yet inaction and withdrawal are not an option. Now is the time to respond in bravery and truth. Now your faith, your spirit, your body and mind are put to the test. Your heart races along with your thoughts. Peace feels beyond your grasp.

Suffering is a temporary state pushing you toward change and growth. Maybe your state of being needs fundamental change. Maybe you need to facilitate some change in a relationship, a situation, or maybe you truly do have to let someone go.

Good suffering is the kind that ultimately pulls you toward deeper love, spiritual growth, greater awareness and inner peace. Like a terrible thunderstorm, it is natural, necessary, but temporary. Weather the storm while accepting that your life is unfolding as it must. For whatever reason, what is happening needs to be happening.


Alone we can do nothing. But together, our minds fuse into something whose power is far beyond the power of its separate parts. (A Course in Miracles)

You have free will. You can, therefore, choose to act as if you were alone. Nobody is going to stop you from creating the illusion of separation—an error that renders you powerless, miserable and vulnerable.

The light of love cannot penetrate a mind grasping at illusions of darkness. First, a crack must appear in the illusion—a single doubt about the nature of our essence, our truth, our identity—a simple realization that we are the same in all the ways that matter. The same = one.

We are one. Children. Parents. Friends. Brothers and sisters. Lovers. Life partners. Denial of our sameness, our oneness, is denial of your power.

You are not a single ray of light, separated from other rays. We, together, are the light. To know this is enough to instantly manifest perfect love, abundance, and total freedom. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.


Success in life requires only that we see beyond the game board.

Yesterday we looked at the grand illusion, this game we have been taught to call “The Real World”. Let’s take a break from the game for a moment.

Notice this present moment, the sounds, everything happening right now. Go into your inner-body and feel the energy. Contemplate the miracle of your life—how you have arisen from nothing and have been given unlimited power to love and to create.

Now, when you look at your brothers and sisters, you see them not as competitors in the game; rather, as souls identical to yours. Our position on the game board is not what matters. At our core, our identity is the same because our fundamental needs are all the same. This is our oneness, our union, our yoga.

Beyond the illusion, you are not alone. Furthermore, you are not lacking. There is nothing you can win in the game to fulfill your most fundamental needs for love, security, abundance, feeling good, peace, happiness. These aren’t things you can get; rather, this is what you are. All success flows from knowing this. Without knowing this, you seek more of everything even as no real success is possible.

Success in life is remembering the endless love within. Know what you are and extend it to others—seeing only the realm where we are all one. Now you cannot maintain the illusion of separation, isolation, or lack. Fear dissolves because you know what is real and that it cannot be threatened.

To see spirit in your brothers and sisters is to see them beyond the game they call The Real World. Play the game and have fun; but do so in the eternal present moment—here where you are perfect and complete. Don’t take it so seriously, and don’t forget to take frequent breaks to see beyond the game board. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.


What they call “The Real World” is only a game.

The object of the game is to acquire more of everything. To win, you must outsmart others, demonstrate your overall superiority, and be right.

Score is kept by acquiring more material success, earning an important title, appearing more attractive, traveling to more exotic destinations, marrying a more successful and attractive partner, raising higher-performing kids, and living in an impressive house in the right neighborhood. The reward promised to you for winning this game is happiness. But to win, you must sacrifice all.

This game might be fun if it were played as a game, but we have been taught to call this game The Real World. This is not the real world, only an elaborate illusion. Institutions have even been setup to support the illusion that the game is real (media, courts, banks, schools, governments, prisons, etc.). Not only is the game unreal, nobody has ever won the ultimate reward promised. Happiness is what happens when we stop playing the game; but if we believe the game is real, we never stop.

While fun at times, no game can deliver true fulfillment, meaning, peace or happiness. No illusion can replace that which is real. Do not sacrifice that which is real to play a game. You will lose not just the game, but yourself.

Tomorrow we learn to succeed at life, not win at a meaningless game. You will still be able to play this game they call The Real World if you are still having fun, but it is no longer the purpose of your life—nor the source of anything that ultimately matters. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.


Whenever you are with a brother, you are learning what you are because you are teaching what you are. (A Course in Miracles)

“He will respond either with pain, or with joy, depending upon which teacher you are following. He will be imprisoned or released according to your decision, and so will you. Never forget your responsibility to him, because it is your responsibility to yourself. The Kingdom cannot be found alone.”

Some people seek inner peace by labeling others as narcissists and sociopaths—then creating boundaries, attempting to rid themselves of what they call “toxic relationships”. Any time we judge or condemn a brother or sister using such labels, we are serving the ego and its belief in separation.

What are you teaching? That narcissistic and sociopathic behavior is real, that the other is condemned, wrong, flawed, sinful, hopeless? This is belief in separation, not the path to inner peace. Here you seek but do not find.

Happiness is not found in isolation and separation. This is the path toward loneliness and lack. If you desire abundance and freedom, respond your brothers and sisters in spirit. Learn to communicate, and to teach, on the level of feelings and needs.

Marshall Rosenberg says, “Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.” Or as stated in the Tao Te Ching, “What is a bad man but a good man’s student? What is a good man but a bad man’s teacher?”

To teach is to look past the error and to communicate on the level of the unmet need. Healing and growth is possible, but only if we learn to respond to each other like this: “I can see that you’re feeling angry. Is it because you have a need for more freedom, or more love, or more safety? I’d like to understand you better. Would you like to talk about this?”

We continue tomorrow and each day after that.


When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. (A Course in Miracles)

“As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. In him, you will find yourself or lose yourself.”

All judgment or rejection of others is a form of projection. Yes, you see something in the other which makes you uncomfortable. Know also that it would be impossible to perceive anything in the other that does not also exist within yourself.

Projection is the ego’s attempt to rid yourself of that which you do not accept about yourself. By making guilty the other, then separating yourself from that person, you attempt to rid yourself of that which bothers your ego about yourself.

Projection never works. Through projection, you are merely making real that which you attempt to reject. That disgust you feel for the other is a feeling that you continue to have within. That judgment you attempt to throw upon others is a judgment you continue to carry. As you shame, blame, judge, argue, and punish—you are bringing to life more suffering within. As your ego takes control—feeding on the nastiness you project—the other person is unlikely to care much about your out-of-control thoughts.

Now we turn to spirit to look beyond the traits, the judgements, the differences. We see beyond the words, thoughts and behaviors—seeing only needs. When your brother or sister speaks, acts out, engages in behavior you don’t like, or even attacks you in some way—look beyond this to the needs.

See the needs and communicate with everyone on that level. This is the loving response. Now, all differences will dissolve, conflict will disappear from your life, and there is no longer a reason to maintain boundaries because your relationships will function as naturally as breathing.


Nothing that is real is ever lost. (Eckhart Tolle)

“The ultimate purpose of the world lies not in the world, but in transcendence of the world.” –The Power of Now
Nothing in this world is real because everything in this world is ultimately lost. All situations, all structures, all forms eventually change. Peace is found in permanence, but everything in the material world constantly changes.

In life, there are no destinations. Life situations change, individual life forms die, empires collapse, species become extinct, stars eventually expand into red giants.

To find real happiness, meaning, and fulfillment, we stop seeking it in this world. That which is real is unchanging, eternal, infinite, and already present. Truth is that which is, always has been, always will be, and cannot be threatened. Awaken to this truth to allow that which is false to die.

“Death is, therefore, only a death of the false self. The end of illusion, that’s all death is. It is painful only as long as you cling to illusion.”

Fear and suffering are only real as long as we believe there is something real to be found in form. All meaning is found within, in the nothingness that is your spirit. The purpose of this life is to extend spirit, to share, to create, to see your brothers and sisters only in spirit.


Being is known through sharing. (A Course in Miracles)

Born into this world from the eternal void of nothingness, you arrive as perfect love and joy. Your fundamental needs within are already met because this is what you are.

The source of your being (your “I am-ness”) is within, but the purpose of this dream of life is to extend yourself to make your being known. Doing is knowing and knowing requires sharing.

It is the ego that would hide in separation—believing that a heart can be broken, that safety can be threatened, that truth can be attacked, and that something real can be taken away. But remember, the ego’s mantra is “seek but do not find.” Nothing can be known through separation but stagnation, suffering and confusion.

Spirit knows that it is invulnerable. Therefore, there is no risk in sharing, giving, loving all. Spirit does not see attack as real, is not afraid of what might happen, and cares nothing of the judgment of egos.

Our choice is always love or fear—at all times, in all situations, with everyone. Fear withdraws, while love extends. It is impossible to serve two masters. If anything is holding you back from freely sharing love, you are continuing to serve ego—the source of suffering in this world.

Now we escape the ego, set spirit free in all dimensions of life, and experience the joy of sharing and knowing.