To be human is to know what love is. The problem is that we’ve stopped believing in love because it never seems to last. Is lasting love only an illusion, or does happiness in love always fade in time?
Sadly, most “love” relationships are like this: “I abuse you the way you need to be abused, and you abuse me the way I need to be abused. We have a good equilibrium; it works.” (from Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz)
The problem is that we treat love like it is a drug we are addicted to. We meet someone who excites us and who is willing to give us love. It feels so good that we are afraid to lose it. We try to possess and control the person because we need the drug. We’ll desperately do whatever it takes to get a constant, on-going supply and believe it will make us happy forever.
Now the love is no longer a beautiful gift; rather, an expectation and demand. You move in together, you get married, and now you feel justified in arguing, manipulating, and abusing each other to get what you expect. Now there is no freedom, no respect, and the love fades. You might stay together for other reasons, but the fun and happy feelings are gone because you have made a terrible mistake: you thought that love is something you can get from the other.
Happiness in love comes not from the taking; rather, from the giving. Love originates from within you and flows out to the other. To find a person who is simply willing to receive your love without conditions is perfect bliss. When two people master the art of giving love without conditions and receiving love without resistance, you will both experience ongoing, perfect love.
Love doesn’t fade. It is infinite. If love seems to fade in your life, it is because you are holding back from giving it or you start trying to take it. Stop looking outside yourself and start looking within.
In love, you have never been let down by anyone but yourself. You are all the love you need and others will enjoy the love you offer. Let it flow from you freely and enjoy whatever happens in return without any expectations. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.