How to understand spirituality
Abscondo Podcast #64: What the world calls love vs. what love truly is

Relationships do not complete what is already whole.

To be spiritually unawake is to believe that what we are lacking inside can be fulfilled externally. With so much attention on so-called rational thought, we have forgotten that we were all born with perfect love within.

All these cruel, insane lessons of sacrifice have tricked us into believing that we are incomplete—that love is not what we are; rather, that we must get it from another person. So, we desperately look for someone to play the part—someone who has also forgotten about the love within and also needs you to play the part.

Where is the source of love in this unholy relationship? You both expect it from the other, so both feel pressured to play a role. There are the rules, gestures, expectations and decisions all designed to provide that feeling of love—but somehow the loving bliss you both expected from the relationship isn’t quite there.

Now you blame each other, you attack, you resent, you argue—all because you both have a deep need for love but went about it the wrong way. With each new attack and manipulation, the relationship is damaged and love becomes more elusive. This is not love; rather, a codependent arrangement that will never bring lasting happiness.

Love requires that we undo ego to remember the perfect love within. This is done alone, in silence and stillness. There are beautiful books that can help by authors like Don Miguel Ruiz, Thich Nan Hanh, Osho, Michael Singer, Erich Fromm and even Yours Truly.

Only when you come to love yourself so much that you don’t need another person are you ready for a romantic relationship. If you meet another enlightened soul who has done the same, then your relationship will be overflowing with love. There is no way around this, so we continue tomorrow and each day after that.