You’ll never receive love by withholding it.
The laws that held you prisoner to pain and death must be forgotten. (A Course in Miracles)

Heal the way we love and we heal the world.

No matter our gender or sexuality, we all want to love and to be loved. We also want a love that lasts a lifetime. But if this is true, why do so many relationships end in breakup and why do so many others result in ongoing misery?

By establishing rules and limitations in a relationship, we instantly end the blissful feeling of love only to enter into an arrangement that drains us of all vitality and slowly kills us. We ruin love the moment we close our hearts or ask our partners to do the same.

Falling in love is most amazing feeling in the world. The reason is simple: love rescues us from a depressed state in which we are closed. True love inspires us to fully open our hearts, minds, and bodies in ways that are new and exciting. This feeling can last forever, but only if we don’t close.

The problem is that we love this feeling so much that we cling to our loved ones. We become possessive and we fear losing this feeling. So we get jealous and controlling, we start demanding attention and time together, we agree to never again have feelings for people outside the relationship. Now, tragically and unexpectedly, the love energy starts to fade.

In such a relationship, we feel isolated, trapped, cut off from the energy of freedom. Now total honesty is no longer welcome because everything that falls outside the rules is forbidden. What started out as love becomes a cage. This kind of relationships leaves us cut off from the world and even separated from each other.

Spirituality teaches us that salvation is possible by extending perfect love to all our brothers and sisters. We are taught to practice unconditional acceptance and total honesty. But how can anyone practice perfect love with all of humanity if we are forbidden from practicing perfect love with our romantic partner? It’s impossible. As long as we accept this reality, we are deciding against healing.

This message is perhaps the most unpopular message of all these days. But the truth remains: we will need to fundamentally change the way we love if we're ever going to heal the world from sickness and insanity. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.