If you ask for something you claim to want, yet you are afraid of it, then you do not want it and will not receive it.
All attack is self-attack. (A Course in Miracles)

Delay of joy is needless

There is only one way to joy and peace — though it is called by many different names: awakening, enlightenment, atonement, being born again, becoming conscious, still, or present. 

This is the only way to love, to health, to true success, to God, to truth, and to freedom. These are only words. Words are form and cannot be truth. At best, words only point to truth. Stop grasping at words. Take the journey to that place these words are pointing to.

Take the journey inward, away from the conditioning of the world, away from the voice in your head that sounds like you but reflects only the confused lessons you have been taught. Delay this journey away from ego and you needlessly postpone joy.

Ego is faith in the world’s insanity. Knowledge of truth is only possible when you come to recognize the unreality of insanity from the perspective of consciousness. Become the still, silent observer of this moment. Accept everything you see, hear, think and feel. Let it stay or let it go. None of it means anything — especially not your thoughts.

The delay of joy ends when you recognize that you are the observer, not the person. The journey toward your true identity was effortless after all. You have arrived home. You have assumed a perspective, an identity that is perfect joy, eternal, and beyond threat. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.