"The good fight is the one that's fought in the name of our dreams.  When we're young and our dreams first explode inside us with all of their force, we are very courageous, but we haven't yet learned how to fight.  With great effort, we learn how to fight, but by then we no longer have the courage to go into combat.  So we turn against ourselves and do battle within.  We become our own worst enemy.  We say that our dreams were childish, or too difficult to realize, or the result of our not having known enough about life.  We kill our dreams because we are afraid to fight the good fight."

- from Paulo Coelho, "The Pilgramage"

I'm very grateful to have met 4 extraordinary people who also happen to be very talented musicians.  Filip Kluknavský, Tomáš Duan, Martin Lechman, and Miťo Samuely complete the lineup for the new international band from Košice, Slovakia.  The band is called "Abscondo" and you can visit the band website (www.abscondoband.com) to find out more.

Abscondo has been rehearsing for the past month and we're getting ready to book a few shows in May.  In the coming years, we have big plans to become a major musical act in Slovakia and beyond.

The things we do define us to ourselves.  The things we say define ourselves to others. 

To abscond is to make personal choices from an awareness of the authentic self, and then to understand the need to be very careful about what is revealed to others.

We all must communicate, and so we all must reveal.  But what drives our decisions to reveal specific things about ourselves or not?  A person acting wisely reveals personal information with a specific purpose in mind.  He understands the audience well enough to know how what is said will be received...how the other party will define him and what consequence (positive or negative) this will likely have in his life.   A person acting wisely might also choose to reveal personal information with the genuine purpose of sharing knowledge or wisdom.  In this case, he selflessly does so with the other person in mind and he doesn't care as much about the consequence to self.  In short, a wise person reveals with purpose and an understanding of consequence.

The person acting foolishly reveals personal, intimate, or controversial information about himself without thought; rather, only with feeling.  But what exactly is that feeling that leads one to do this?  That feeling, more specifically, is the  the false notion that, in doing so, he will find acceptance or understanding.  His only purpose is the desire to eradicate his lonliness with the feeling of being truly perceived.  But not only will he not find acceptance and understanding, he will meet strong judgment (whether expressed or not) and will allow others the ability to actually shape his definition of himself (when said judgement is expressed).

The decision to do something or to be something is an individual decision. By definition, I'm talking here about the things we do for ourselves and the things we do for our own reasons.  I'm talking about our personal decisions.  I'm talking about our authentic selves.

So I'll say it again...

The things we do define us to ourselves.  The things we say define ourselves to others. 

To abscond is to make personal choices from an awareness of the authentic self, and then to understand the need to be very careful about what is revealed to others.

Just because somebody asks you a question, it doesn't mean they have a right to your answer. To refuse to answer a question isn't rude. Rather, to ask questions about things that are none of your business is.