In our second podcast, we talk about our relationship with our stuff.  The discussion is grounded in ideas presented by Erich Fromm in his 1977 work "To Have or to Be?". 

It has been some time since I read this work...a few years actually.  Nonetheless, the core of his ideas are clear and powerful enough that they have stuck with me.  I think, too often, we contemplate the topic of "materialism" by framing it as, "we should try not to be so materialistic."  This approach calls on restraint and will-power and too often fails.  After all, if it is believed that more stuff will make you happier, then why not acquire whatever it is you want?

Instead, I argue that there is a sort of optimum level of material wealth that is suited to each of us.  If we do not have basic tools or comforts, then of course we aspire for more.  However, if we go beyond that optimum level, each additional thing we have actually diminishes our quality of life.  One can find that optimal level by changing the mental model to one that considers "being" as opposed to "having" as an end in itself.

Finally, I think this is an interesting topic because the opposing "having" and "being" mentalities also govern our relationships with others.  "Having people" do tend to measure relationships and friendships in terms of questions like "how many friends do I have and how loyal are those friends", whereas a "being person" might ask, "How much do I enjoy my time with friends?".

A "being" mentality also brings us a sense of peace not just when it comes to material decisions and relationships, but also with respect to life itself.  To be is to accept how life actually is...that we face endless successes and failures, love and loss, youth and old age.  Indeed, we truly "have" nothing at all other than our existence in the moment.