Fill the gaps
Virtual relationships

The dos and don'ts

The idea of not doing something leaves us with an empty, frustrating void.  To not do something leaves us with a battle of will-power, a fight against our human nature, a seemingly less-than-full existence.  Most people focus so intensely on what they shouldn't be doing that the end up doing it!

Why not look at what to do rather than what not to do?  Don't not each junk food because it is bad for you, eat healthy food because it makes you feel great.  Filling yourself on vegetables, healthy fats, and proteins leaves you with little appetite for the other stuff.  Don't focus on not drinking to much tonight, focus on having a nice tomorrow morning without the hangover.

Don't focus on your flaws, but on your strengths.  In relationships, it isn't so much what you don't do to people, but what you do.  Why do they need you?  Why do they keep you around?  It probably isn't just because you aren't rude or aren't annoying, but because of whatever positive value they see.  Again, why do they need you?  What value do you bring?

The same perspective can be applied to work.  Don't focus on what you shouldn't be doing or staying out of trouble, focus on what positive value you bring to your boss and company and why they feel it is worthwhile to keep paying you.

It isn't so much about what you don't do wrong, but what you do do right.  The difference between these two paradigms seems invisible, but is actually immense.  If you focus on the don't, you'll fail in the fight against your human nature.  If you focus on the do, you are inevitably reaching toward something desirable to your human nature and in tune with it.  To do something right is to make up for what you invariably do wrong. 

It isn't so much about what you don't do, but what you do.