Finding controlled chaos
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Ambition comes from delusion

For me to find enough ambition to start a business, change careers, write a new song, write a new book...whatever...I find that my head must be filled with delusions.  I also find that, when a head full of delusions is behind these sorts of undertakings, the results are not so great.  Perhaps this is what Bright Eyes is talking about in one of his song lyrics, "Well ambition, I've found, can lead only to failure."

My 20's were full of delusions.  I chased dreams which I originally knew nothing about.  The results of my undertakings have always been different from what I had at first imagined.   But, because I chased dreams, my accomplishments (if oftentimes unintentional) were nonetheless significant.

At 30 years, my experiences vast, the gap between how I now see the world and the reality of the world is narrowing.  I no longer benefit from the luxury of delusional dreams.  I no longer waste effort or waste time.  But I don't do anything significant either.

How can I keep dreaming when I can so easily conjure up the likely outcome of my dreams? 

Posted by Abscondo

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