Versailles and the time-traveling tour guide
On a guided tour through Versailles, I was lucky enough to have an actual King, I think it was Lois XVI, show us around his home for only 5 Euros.
Of course, he knows it would sound ridiculous, so he couldn't actually tell us this...but several clues led me to the conclusion that this mystery king had experienced the advantages of time travel and was undercover as a tour guide to escape persecution in his own era. The first clue was that he kept referring to French Royalty as "we". I also found it strange that, when showing us pictures of some king-to-be at the age of nine, we tourists inquired as to why said king-to-be was wearing a girl's dress. Our mystery king was shocked, "Of course we wear dresses when we are young...I wore a dress like that...it's all a matter of social standing of coarse!"
"See, I told you he's Royalty." I whispered to Sofia.
Then there was the hair. It was remarkably similar to the styles in the paintings all around....though quite a bit shorter in order to keep his cover. And later, when he was telling us how the Royals would put arsenic and other poisons on their faces to achieve that sought-after sickly look...well, he had that same sickly look he was describing!
But, most of all, it was his obsession with the French Revolution...those terrible mobs who stormed Versailles and took everything and auctioned it off for very cheap prices...and how it was a matter of great urgency to get back the remaining 93 percent of the original items that were still missing from their rightful home. He spoke of this with great passion as he secretly hoped to be restored to the throne.
He must have narrowly escaped the mobs in 1789, and perhaps then was coaxed into a time machine for his own safety. And here he was, unwilling to live anywhere other than Versailles...and with no ability to live there without playing the role of a tour guide. He was ridiculously disguised as a commoner...wearing jeans that were much too short (after all, what do Kings know about jeans), carrying on about his customs. He pined so eloquently about Marie Antoinette as we sat in the Opera house, just as anyone would speak of their long-lost love...swiftly dismissing anyone who would speak ill of her and heart-achingly describing her grace and beauty. "If only it weren't for those terrible mobs," he sighed.
I wasn't the only one who was on to him. Another American asked, as the last question our group was permitted, "You obviously have some connection to the Royal bloodline, can you share that with us?"
"Now that is a personal matter!" he snapped, and led us out swiftly...intentionally avoiding the prospect of being insulted with a tip from commoners.