My love/hate relationship with my stuff
My Mercury Rev-inspired Seattle rant

Darth Vader in the elevator

During this last week before the move, Sofia and I are renting a crappy studio apartment in downtown Seattle.  I was warned about these places.  Rented by the week or by the month, these furnished apartments are cheap.  But, I am told, you don't necessarily want to get to know your neighbors.

Last Sunday, I walked past the reception counter on my way to the elevator and noticed a large man dressed all in black, with a 8 or 9 year-old boy.  I overheard him telling the man at the counter, "You know what they say...that insults only hurt if you think that they're true."

Being an articulate, yet odd thing to say while checking into a room, I looked up and noticed that his child was barefoot and the man wearing a black cape. 

The elevator took a while, and by the time the doors had opened, they entered with me.  I boorishly attempted to mind my own business.  But the young child decided to make conversation.

"I like your shoes," he said.

"Thank you," I responded.

He then replied, "They kind of look like alligators from the front."

"Ha ha, I guess they do," I agreed. 

I was wearing a pair of funky Diesel shoes.  About these shoes...after reading Adbusters one day, I decided to fight corporate cool by black spotting the branding on my clothing.  So I took a marker to the Nike swoosh on my running shoes.  Then I thought it a little hypocritical to only go after Nike, so I turned to my Diesel shoes. 

I noticed the word "Diesel" on the tongue of each shoe. coloring over some of these letters...I turned it into..."Lies" on one foot and "sell" on the other.  I was satisfied.  Back to my story.

So the poor kid didn't have shoes on and I was desperately seeking something to compliment in turn, or something to say at all.  That's when I noticed that the large, caped man had a Darth Vader helmet tucked beneath his right arm.

"Ah, Darth Vader," I said, nooticing that he was missing all of his front teeth. 

In a self-congratulatory way, he responded, "Yes, I've been walking around the Cinerama.  I'm hoping that they will invite me to greet people on the opening day of Star Wars."

"Ah, good idea," I said with a friendly smile.

"Yes, but unfortunately it hasn't happened yet."

Funny how most of our pipe dreams never do.  No matter, it is the unintentional stuff that makese life worth talking to people in an elevator with a Darth Vader costume.