Posts categorized "Personal Development"

Darkness is lack of light, as sin is lack of love. (A Course in Miracles)

Darkness cannot exist in the presence of light. Sin cannot exist in the presence of love. Sin is where love is not. Anything done in love is without sin. Furthermore, what some call sin is only error. The error is to act without love.

We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

By Abscondo

Something inside us feels unworthy of having too much fun. (Don Miguel Ruiz)

The world has taught you through an endless series of rewards and punishments. You have been domesticated, indoctrinated, trained by those who would attempt to control you for their own agendas. The promise of reward and threat of punishment has taught to pretend and to lie. Now you feel guilty, shameful, and inadequate for even having fun. You tell yourself that you don’t deserve to feel good; that first you should get something done or accomplish something great.

The world has taught its lessons well. That voice in your head sounds like your voice, but its words are only echoes of what you have been taught. See how the rewards promised haven’t made you happy. See how the threats and punishments have scared you, but they have never meant anything. Today you lose faith in fear.

You were born as perfect love, limitless joy, endless peace. Nothing can change this. For a long time, you believed it was lost somewhere in your past. Now you are awakening and rediscovering who you are. The right path is to follow that place inside that wants to feel good and wants to have fun. This is the energy of life guiding you. Trust it.

Your first priority today and every day is to feel good. If you’re tired, go lie down or meditate. If you feel stuck in a routine, do something different. Go for a walk in the woods. Meet someone new. Create something. Play, experiment, tell the truth, sing, dance, have sex, do whatever excites you with anyone who you want to do it with.

We all have work and we all have responsibilities, but the priority is to have fun and feel good. Live from that place and everything you do will be effortless and effective. You may even find the power to inspire others, lead others, and stand out from the crowd.

Today you can let go of the guilt, the shame, the to-do list of things that don’t matter. Forgive yourself and don’t take seriously the opinions of others. You know who you are and you don’t need permission to be it. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

Something inside feels unworthy of having too much fun.

By Abscondo

Who are you? It's not something you can find. It's already there.

As children, we wonder what we will be when we grow up. What will be our chosen profession? Will our dreams come true? Who will we fall in love with or marry? These are all fascinating questions, but the answers to these questions have nothing to do with who you are.

Eventually, you may even realize that there is no meaning in career or status. You might then become a “spiritual seeker”. You might travel to India to “find yourself”. While you may be embarking on a great adventure, and you may learn a great deal, it will not be possible to find yourself.

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To look for yourself in the external world is to seek but never find. You cannot find yourself, you cannot “become complete” with the addition of anything. You already are yourself and you already are complete, right now. You’re already there and you’ve always been there. You are the consciousness, the observer of it all. No matter what happens in the external world of form, your true identity can never be threatened. You are.

We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

By Abscondo

All emotion comes from the loss of awareness of who you are beyond name and form.

As Eckhart Tolle points out, “Observing our emotions is as important as observing our thoughts.” The mind can lie to you, but your emotions always tell the truth. Not the truth about who you are of course, just the truth about your present state of being.

Your natural state of being is love, bliss, inspiration, happiness and health. These are not emotions, this is the natural state that arises when you have discovered who you are beyond the ego. Emotions may seem as differentiated as sadness, longing, frustration, anxiety and anger. But if you look deeper, you see that all emotions emanate from the same place. There is only one emotion. While there is no perfect word to describe this core emotion, “fear” or simply “suffering” come close.

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The two basic states of being are love and fear. You fall away from love and into fear when your mind forgets your true identity. You forget that you are spirit, you are soul, you are consciousness, you are essence, you are love. These and many more words all describe the same thing. Whatever you may choose to call it, your true identity exists in the invisible realm where all truth exists. Why is truth invisible? Because only form is visible. Form is matter. Matter changes, and truth cannot change or else it isn’t truth. Therefore, form cannot be truth. Who you truly are is in the nothingness, the unobservable, the non-material.

To become the observer of your mind, the observer of your emotions, the observer of your waking state, observer of your dreams, the observer of this beautiful and often challenging physical realm is to realize that who you truly are is elsewhere. You are not your thoughts, nor your feelings, nor your body, nor your name, nor your car, nor your home, nor your family, nor your bank account, nor your fame or status. There is nothing wrong with enjoying these things, but nothing from the realm of form is going to make you happy for long because it is fleeting. One day it will be gone. Your physical form too will be gone. If you attempt to possess, to cling to what is temporary, you will inevitably experience that one terrible emotion. You will exist in a state of crisis. Your life will be difficult. You will act as an enemy to yourself and others. The gift of life will have been wasted and you will have made a terrible error. It is an error that can be corrected and that is what we are here to do.

We are spirit. We are one. We are all connected. It doesn’t matter how we describe this or what we call it because words mean nothing. They are only pointers to a deeper truth. Look beyond the words to the deeper truth within. Yes, you are a body. Yes, this physical realm of form is real in some sense. But beyond this, what is life itself? What is that invisible consciousness within you? Who is the silent observer within you that has always been there?

We continue tomorrow and the day after that.

By Abscondo

Sex is the beginning of the journey to love. (Osho)

Today’s message seems impossible, but if you try it you will find that it is the easiest thing in the world. The message is this: awakening is impossible without sexual freedom. Transformation requires complete liberation and that includes sex.

We so easily talk of acceptance, then expect ourselves and others to resist the very energy that is the source of life itself—the starting point of creation.  

Defenses are but foolish guardians ofMad illusions.

To be conscious is to be free to live as you choose, to say what you are inspired to say, to do what you feel inspired to do. You can be both impeccable with your word and sexually free. This is how you create the perfect relationship with yourself and others. You cultivate a space in which you are free and so are your loved ones.

A marriage or love relationship that does not allow sexual expression and freedom to both partners is not love—it is an arrangement. You are trying to possess each other and control each other. What you really need to do is love each other, there is no substitute.

To forbid something of another is to end the possibility of honesty and closeness in the relationship. To set rules around something as unstoppable as sex energy is to ask your partner to lie to you. You are asking for emotional distance, resentment, and misery in the relationship. You will never experience spiritual awakening within the structures of this kind of relationship. This is the normal way of doing relationships; ego-based and suffocating.

Why is everyone so afraid of sex? If you feel inspired, sex is beautiful and fun. It pulls you into the present moment fully if only for a short while. The energy of sex allows you escape the world of the ego to exist in heaven with your lover. Chemicals are released. We are changed forever. A seed is planted, and love becomes possible. That love is shared between lovers, but it also spreads to everyone in your life.

Osho writes, “It is the sex energy itself that travels to and reaches the inner ocean of love. Love is the transformation of sex energy. The flowering of love is from the seed of sex.”

To accept yourself sexually is a massive breakthrough—the overcoming of your social conditioning, the beginning of your liberation. To accept another sexually is to be loving. Commitment to both honesty and sexual freedom will shake the foundations of your life, but in a way that ultimately allows the light to shine through. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

Only the energy of sex can flower into love. But everyone, including mankind’s great thinkers, is against it. This opposition will not allow the seed to sprout, and the palace of love is destroyed at the foundation.

Osho

By Abscondo

Time does not really exist. (A Course in Miracles)

Now is all there is, all there ever was, and all there ever will be. Nothing has ever existed anywhere else aside from now. The entire universe is alive only now, in this present moment.

What we perceive as time is merely them movement of matter (physical form) within the now. The present moment is not static; rather, it is dynamic and changing. In this eternal present, there is room for both stillness and the movement of matter. Days are nothing more than the movement of our planet. Time is not linear. It doesn’t even exist.

Time

The past and the future exist only as thoughts in your mind—essentially dreams. Those things you saw, did, experienced, tasted, touched, felt—those are all things that happened now. It’s just that you’ve moved, things moved, matter changed, the form is now different. You remember how it was once arranged, and you call it the past. But it was all now.

Clock time is merely the coordination of events in the now. We set a time to things so that we can come together to meet each other in a coordinated way. We agree to meet for school at 8:00 a.m., we all agree on what 8:00 a.m. means, but 8:00 a.m. tomorrow isn’t real in a cosmic sense. It will still be now, it’s just that we’ve all agreed that there are other things we would like to do before meeting for school...that the planet needs to rotate a bit more first and we need to sleep.

The future is another word for plans. Plans are merely thoughts. Plans are only real to the extent that you are present, in the moment, when making them. But there is no actual future—only how you imagine things should be, could be, or might be arranged.

The past is a story that prevents you from being free in the present. Let it go. You are not limited by your past. There was no better you or better situation in the past, there will be no better you or better life in the future. Everything you are is now. You are perfect. You are complete. Everything real is already here, now and what is unreal doesn’t matter.

This, right now, is it. Don’t let your mind cast darkness over what is real. Be here fully. This is liberation. This is what we are here to learn. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

Time does not really exist.

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment 

By Abscondo

Be impeccable with your word. (Don Miguel Ruiz)

Your word—your ability to express ideas using language—is the most powerful tool you possess. How often do properly use this power to say what you mean? Being impeccable with your word has nothing to do with holding back; rather, always stating your truth with care and integrity.

Too often, we hold back from expressing our truths because we are trying to fit-in. Worse yet, we try to make a point indirectly by shaming, blaming, playing victim, judging others and then hoping the other will learn what we are trying to teach. Instead of just saying what we mean, we play games, we say we don’t care when we do, we go along to get along. Worst of all, we lie.

Your words are so important, yet the impact of what you say is often difficult to see. If you tell a child that he has no musical talent, the child barely reacts at first. But, if he agrees with you, those words change him forever. You may have said something without much thought, but he will carry this for life. We have to choose our words carefully, mean exactly what we say, and always be honest.  

 

It isnt the number of likes

It is said that truth hurts, but this isn’t exactly so. If your truth is loving and carefully explained, you can usually avoid upsetting anyone. Even if your truths do hurt someone’s feelings, you are not responsible. It’s on the other person to practice acceptance. It isn’t your job to protect others from their own negative reactions—that’s on them. Be you and accept everything that comes.

Truth doesn’t hurt; dishonesty does. When you lie, you create an enormous gap of separation between you and the other. You feel alone, you withdraw, you pull back. This distance between people is the cause of so much agony. Truth does the opposite. Truth dissolves barriers, bringing people together by allowing them to be themselves. Truth and honesty provide the space needed in a relationship to discuss real topics, to work through things, to influence each other, to grow.

Be real. Say what you mean; but learn to do so from a loving place that is beyond the ego. That’s what we’re going to learn together. We will continue tomorrow, and each day after that.

Be impeccable with your word.

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz

 

By Abscondo

Emotion is the reaction of your body to your mind. (Eckhart Tolle)

Physical suffering (i.e. pain, illness, and disease) is caused by too much negative emotion building up in the body. When a person is overwhelmed by negative emotions such as anger, hatred, fear or jealousy, then vital energy is diverted from the normal functioning of the body. In this state, the physiology of your body changes, your heart beats faster, adrenaline is released, you lose sleep, and your body starts to malfunction. If this is your normal state, then disease is likely.

But is it possible to change your emotions, to change the way you feel? Can this really be the antidote to suffering? Yes, of course. The first step toward solving a problem is becoming aware of the problem. There are several levels of awareness:

Level 1: Physical awareness—you are aware of your overall state of health, whether you are in pain, whether you are tired, etc. If you are aware of yourself only on this first level of awareness, then you are unaware that your physical state is your body's reaction to your emotional state. You don’t believe there is anything you can do in your inner realm to improve your physical state.

Level 2: Emotional awareness—you are constantly aware of whether you are in a positive emotional state (excited, blissful, happy, inspired) or negative (fearful, angry, jealous). If you are aware of yourself on both the physical and emotional level, then you will be able to dissolve negative emotions; thus preventing physical illness. However, you remain stressed or unhappy much of the time because you are letting your ego run your mind and are unaware of what causes your emotions.

Level 3: Mind awareness—in this state you are fully aware of your thoughts most of the time. If you are mind-aware, then you have some ability to control emotions because you can try to change your thoughts. Awareness on this level will allow you to live in a more positive state and maintain good physical health. However, you may sometimes fail to control your negative thoughts or fears because you are unaware of your true identity.

Level 4: Essence awareness—in this highest state of being you are conscious, enlightened, awakened. You are aware that you are not your thoughts, and you occasionally exist in the blissful realm of no thought. In this state, negative emotion is no longer present in your being and neither is pain, disease or illness. You cut it off at the top so that your body can remain in its natural, perfect state. You are aligned with a higher intelligence and your life flows beautifully without much effort.

 

Emotion

 

Essence awareness is only possible when you have mastered the other levels. Mastering any level requires full acceptance of what is. Accept everything about your pain, your emotional state, your crazy thoughts, everything going on within you. Accept everything in your life as it is, even if it is painful at first. Now, watch your problems begin to dissolve as you increase awareness one level at a time.

Transformation is the process whereby you first become aware of yourself on the physical level, then the emotional, then the mental. Finally, you discover your true identity, your true essence. When this journey is complete, you become pure love and you are a source of light to the world. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

Emotion is a reflection of the mind in the body.

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle

Image by Darren Kall

 

 

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By Abscondo

Want to play the Ego Board Game?

A brilliant, yet obscure author called Kevin FitzMaurice recently published a book called Games Ego Plays. By describing the functioning of the ego as a board game, he has revealed a breakthrough new understanding the ego. The book, rather humorously, reads as an instruction manual for a board game. This Ego Board Game is played by individuals, governments, corporations, news services, movements, foundations, institutions, and groups of all types.

The game involves players switching among 6 different roles. You should read the book in its entirety, but for our immediate purposes I will summarize each of the roles that the ego plays (according to Kevin FitzMaurice). It is important to ask yourself whether you do any of these things. If so, you are projecting ego.

Everything that the ego is, and everything it does, is done from the same 6 positions or roles. The 6 positions of the Ego Game Board are as follows:

The egoBoardGame

1: Judge

The Judge decides who is in the Offender position and who belongs in the Victim position. The Judge decides whether to agree with the Defender or Prosecutor. If the Judge identifies a Victim, then he may turn the Victim over to the Jailer for punishment.

The ego reveals its Judge in statements like, “You shouldn’t have done that” or “You are guilty of hurting me”.

2: Jailer

The Jailer position of the Ego-Game Board enforces the consequences or punishments. The Jailer is given permission to jail the Offender whenever all parties agree with the Judge’s verdict. The ego reveals the Jailer in the form of a parent punishing a child for bad behavior, or in a spouse taking away the privacy of another spouse after an offense.

The Jailer’s role is to keep the Offender away from temptation, out of contact with Victims, and ideally provide a path to recovery. Most Jailers, however, aren’t great and can be overly cruel. They may even believe abuse is justified.

3: Prosecutor

Think of how an attorney tries to establish who the Offender is by proving who the Victim is. This is the Prosecutor, who uses language like, “How dare you…” or, “Do you think it is acceptable behavior to…”, or “You always lie to me, drink too much, flirt with people…”.

When a couple argues, it is typically an argument between the Prosecutor and the Defender who are frequently switching roles without ever agreeing on the Judge’s verdict. All form of argument and debate is meant to appeal to the Judge, who decides the winners and losers. But the Judge only has authority if both parties are willing to agree who the Judge is. If they do not agree on the Judge’s verdict, then the argument continues and can go on indefinitely.

It is also interesting to note that roles can be easily switched. The accused may either choose to play the role of Defender or he may switch to the Prosecutor role. Here is an example of a switch in roles,

Woman says: “How dare you get drunk again!”

Man responds: “I only drink because you are constantly yelling at me and shaming me.”

In this way, the man’s “move” on the game board is to try to assume the role of Victim and Prosecutor rather than that of Defender (which is where his wife wanted to put him). If the wife falls for it by defending herself as someone who doesn’t yell or shame, then she has assumed the role of Defender and the man’s move has been successful. If she ignores the accusation of “yelling at and shaming” him, then she maintains her role as Prosecutor and can carry-on being right.

Regardless of what either party does, neither will ever win any real victory. Sure, you can win the game. But it is just a game and has nothing to do with life. True victory can only be found when you stop playing the game and start living in Love.

4: Defender

To avoid ego games, don’t assume the role of Defender. FitzMaurice, in his work as a professional counselor, has routinely advised clients that, “In most circumstances it was not a good idea to defend, explain, or make excuses for their actions, because this would only initiate or continue a game.”

If you are attacked by a Prosecutor and refuse to play the Defender, then you are refusing to allow the Prosecutor the position being sought. Even when you are attacked, you can simply see that someone is trying to start an ego game with you. Respond to their pain, but do not start the game by attempting to defend yourself.

5: Offender

According to FitzMaurice, the Offender is the “mean, guilty person who has hurt some poor, helpless victim.” A great Offender attempts to turn the Victim into the Offender (see example of drunk man, above).

In the film American Beauty, Kevin Spacey’s character provides a great example of an Offender. In response to his wife assuming the roles of Jailer, Judge, Prosecutor, and Victim, he decides to stage a rebellion. He feels that his selfish, offending actions are justified because he sees himself as the Victim and is fed-up. The freedom he claims is not the freedom of Love; rather, the freedom to be an uncaring Offender.

Offensive behavior such as alcoholism, drug abuse, physical abuse, or cheating on a spouse is always the result of the Offender role. If you are living within the realm of the ego, you might believe that the offensive behavior is your path toward freedom. While you may achieve a certain degree of freedom, you will also cause a great deal of destruction.

As an Offender, you might believe that your actions are justified by the unfairness of your situation. The pleasure you get as an Offender is an intense form of ego-gratification—physical pleasure combined with the belief that your sin is justified.

6: Victim

The Victim is the person who uses a wrong as an excuse. The Victim acts helpless, weak, and hurt. A person stuck in the Victim role often chooses this identity for life. While a strong person may attempt to let go of the Victim role, a lazy or weak person seeks pleasure by attempting to get sympathy from friends and family and to generally be let off-the-hook. The problem is that, as with any of the roles, the pain and suffering will continue while you remain within the boundaries of the ego.

The ego game is a win-lose proposition. The winning positions are the Judge, Jailer and Prosecutor because they can assume “rightness”. The losing positions are Defender, Offender, and Victim because they are assumed to be either guilty or abused. In truth, the game does not produce a winner or loser because, for most people, the game never stops. It just draws you in further and eventually makes you crazy.

Interestingly, the ego game takes place between people but it also takes place as that voice inside our own monkey-minds. We have become so indoctrinated in the ways of the ego that the voice in our heads knows how to play all these roles. Most of us have become experts at turning this game against ourselves even when we don’t have anyone to play with.

This internal ego game is perhaps even more destructive than the ego games we play with others. The internal ego game is on-going, exhausting, and depressing. There can be no true happiness or fulfillment within the Ego-Game Board because there is no love. There is no heart, no soul, no empathy, no freedom, no justice, no giving, and no forgiveness. This ego game is often mistakenly referred to as “the real world” by miserable people. In truth, it is a game. There is nothing real about it.

For thousands of years, humans have been exploited and controlled in a grand ego game. From the youngest ages, we are conditioned to the ways of the ego by our schools, then in the workplace, also through our legal system, in church, in our appropriate-minded social interactions, and throughout every other part of society.

The ego game is so pervasive that it seems real—it seems like truth. I am here to tell you that it is all a lie. Love is truth and the ego is a lie. I have discovered the way to live outside of the ego. I have found that this is the only path toward happiness, fulfillment, success, bliss, and goodness. Love is the way. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.

“Ego is about the roller-coaster ride of pride and shame or superiority and inferiority. Ego keeps you in a relationship with others' images rather than in a relationship with other human beings.”

Games Ego Plays by Kevin FitzMaurice

By Abscondo

Have you ever fallen into a moment of wonder? (Deepak Chopra)

You've already experienced many moments of transformation. Imagine a moment you had that was filled with pure beauty and inspiration. The secret is that it is possible to live there.

Transformation is the letting go of emotions like fear, anger, hatred, jealousy and pain so that they can be replaced with emotions of love, passion, peace and inspiration.

As Deepak Chopra writes, “If it weren’t for the enormous effort we put into denial, repression and doubt, life would be a constant revelation.” Awakening is simply the letting go of those habits which prevent the truth of who you are to come to the surface. The requirements are simple and easy: 1) the belief that transformation is possible and desirable, and 2) a daily practice of meditation and reading that requires only minimal time and effort.

Read or listen to The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life by Deepak Chopra

More quotes from the book:

As proud children of science and reason, we have made ourselves the orphan of wisdom.

You are a book of secrets waiting to be opened.

Today, notice the beauty around you for just a moment. We continue tomorrow, and each day after that.

Deepak

By Abscondo