Whenever you are with a brother, you are learning what you are because you are teaching what you are. (A Course in Miracles)
“He will respond either with pain, or with joy, depending upon which teacher you are following. He will be imprisoned or released according to your decision, and so will you. Never forget your responsibility to him, because it is your responsibility to yourself. The Kingdom cannot be found alone.”
Some people seek inner peace by labeling others as narcissists and sociopaths—then creating boundaries, attempting to rid themselves of what they call “toxic relationships”. Any time we judge or condemn a brother or sister using such labels, we are serving the ego and its belief in separation.
What are you teaching? That narcissistic and sociopathic behavior is real, that the other is condemned, wrong, flawed, sinful, hopeless? This is belief in separation, not the path to inner peace. Here you seek but do not find.
Happiness is not found in isolation and separation. This is the path toward loneliness and lack. If you desire abundance and freedom, respond your brothers and sisters in spirit. Learn to communicate, and to teach, on the level of feelings and needs.
Marshall Rosenberg says, “Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.” Or as stated in the Tao Te Ching, “What is a bad man but a good man’s student? What is a good man but a bad man’s teacher?”
To teach is to look past the error and to communicate on the level of the unmet need. Healing and growth is possible, but only if we learn to respond to each other like this: “I can see that you’re feeling angry. Is it because you have a need for more freedom, or more love, or more safety? I’d like to understand you better. Would you like to talk about this?”
We continue tomorrow and each day after that.