“As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. In him, you will find yourself or lose yourself.”
All judgment or rejection of others is a form of projection. Yes, you see something in the other which makes you uncomfortable. Know also that it would be impossible to perceive anything in the other that does not also exist within yourself.
Projection is the ego’s attempt to rid yourself of that which you do not accept about yourself. By making guilty the other, then separating yourself from that person, you attempt to rid yourself of that which bothers your ego about yourself.
Projection never works. Through projection, you are merely making real that which you attempt to reject. That disgust you feel for the other is a feeling that you continue to have within. That judgment you attempt to throw upon others is a judgment you continue to carry. As you shame, blame, judge, argue, and punish—you are bringing to life suffering within. As your ego takes control—feeding on the nastiness you project—the other person is unlikely to care much about your out-of-control thoughts.
Now we turn to spirit to look beyond the traits, the judgements, the differences. We see beyond the words, thoughts and behaviors—seeing only needs. When your brother or sister speaks, acts out, engages in behavior you don’t like, or even attacks you in some way—look beyond this to the needs.
See the needs and communicate with everyone on that level. This is the loving response. Now, all differences will dissolve, conflict will disappear from your life, and there is no longer a reason to maintain boundaries because your relationships will function as naturally as breathing. We continue tomorrow and each day after that.