Your word—your ability to express ideas using language—is the most powerful tool you possess. How often do properly use this power to say what you mean? Being impeccable with your word has nothing to do with holding back; rather, always stating your truth with care and integrity.
Too often, we hold back from expressing our truths because we are trying to fit-in. Worse yet, we try to make a point indirectly by shaming, blaming, playing victim, judging others and then hoping the other will learn what we are trying to teach. Instead of just saying what we mean, we play games, we say we don’t care when we do, we go along to get along. Worst of all, we lie.
Your words are so important, yet the impact of what you say is often difficult to see. If you tell a child that he has no musical talent, the child barely reacts at first. But, if he agrees with you, those words change him forever. You may have said something without much thought, but he will carry this for life. We have to choose our words carefully, mean exactly what we say, and always be honest.
It is said that truth hurts, but this isn’t exactly so. If your truth is loving and carefully explained, you can usually avoid upsetting anyone. Even if your truths do hurt someone’s feelings, you are not responsible. It’s on the other person to practice acceptance. It isn’t your job to protect others from their own negative reactions—that’s on them. Be you and accept everything that comes.
Truth doesn’t hurt; dishonesty does. When you lie, you create an enormous gap of separation between you and the other. You feel alone, you withdraw, you pull back. This distance between people is the cause of so much agony. Truth does the opposite. Truth dissolves barriers, bringing people together by allowing them to be themselves. Truth and honesty provide the space needed in a relationship to discuss real topics, to work through things, to influence each other, to grow.
Be real. Say what you mean; but learn to do so from a loving place that is beyond the ego. That’s what we’re going to learn together. We will continue tomorrow, and each day after that.
Be impeccable with your word.