What is it that we hate about being alone?
To die trying

Friendship over love

Falling in love is beautiful.  But so is getting drunk.  Falling in love is giving in.  Some men can fall in love, in one second, with a woman he passes on the street.  He may even find a way to make her fall in love with him.  So what?

Love conquers, but then what?  Love is tearful and tragic.  It is selfish in the sense of conquest. It is possesive in the sense that we talk about "having" somebody.  It is as ugly as greed.  Love without friendship leaves only pain and agony.  Love alone simply doesn't work.  It has no real value.

It is necessary to think of friendship as something higher than love.  It is not a second prize, it is the only prize.  Even in marriage...everyone loves who they marry...but what misery a couple experiences if they don't explore and develop friendship.  How cold and calculative the arguments.  How selfish the decisions.  How insensitive the words.  How boring and basic the sex without the playfulness of friendship.  How ugly!

Love is not the goal...it is the given.  It is the effortless part.  Laughter is the goal.  Growth.  Support.  Help.  Sensitivity.  Selflessness.  Forgiveness.  Caring.  Curiosity.  Hope. Friendship.

And how interesting that, while romance and sex can easily flow from a beautiful friendship, pain does not.

I would love your comments and feedback. Email me at mark@abscondoband.com.


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